Not long ago I realized something important to my personal growth. It came with both a sense of accomplishment and also a sense of relief. However, it didn’t fail to come with some reservations about how I lived my life up until this point. Was I keeping expectations that were realistic? Or did they continue to fail me over the years as I continued to rely on them to keep showing up? Let’s talk about the real expectations that we hold, why that is, and ways to start being in a better mindset.  Let’s take a look at working through self expectations and limitations.

When Self Expectations are Too High

When you hold high expectations for yourself, it tends to put a damper on nearly everything and everyone around you. Nothing seems quite good enough, even when you or others have the best of intentions. That can suck the life out of your mindset as well as your relationships, so why is it something that we’re all so good at? Maybe you don’t feel up to par in a specific sport or activity that you used to crush in the good old days. Or perhaps it’s more internal, the parts of you that you know can be performing better and more effectively, but you just can’t quite find the right workout routine, the right nutrition regimen, or the best stretching routine. Whatever it is, it’s eating away at you. I know first hand how you feel. This is because high expectations is something I’ve dealt with forever and still is something that I’m working through as an adult! So, don’t discount your shit, my friend. Find ways to mend the inner bitterness and work around the eagerness to hear that “good job” or “you go girl.” You may be waiting for a while…

Share the Love

External validation is something we all crave in one way or another. Most times we do it without even noticing it. I’m asking you right here, right now, to start taking stock in noticing. Start rushing to your inner aid and realizing that what we seek is just another way to get let down. We’ll talk more in the next section about what it is exactly that you’re missing and how you can gain more of it as you grow. Did your spouse tell you that you looked beautiful today? When you first met? On your birthday? Here’s another question… Did they tell you thanks for picking up the kids, or maybe did the dishes without you asking? Are they providing companionship and conquering the world with you as a life partner? Sometimes we can overlook these everyday mundane things and lose focus on the fact that we didn’t get called pretty today. The point is that we all need to lose focus of the high expectations of hunting for new gains and start understanding new ways to grasp a little bit of gratitude through even the toughest of situations. We’re all in this growth cycle together, so we may as well trust each other in wanting to make the best of it. Related: Need help with Gratitude?

Working through Self-Confidence

In my opinion, confidence comes in three forms. Over-confidence, under-confidence, and just right. Just right is clearly the option we’re shooting for here. Let’s talk more about each one, shall we? Under-confidence is something most of us probably suffer from. It sucks, but it’s the real deal. We can exude awesomeness for days but extroverted introverts such as myself then just come home drained and crash for more days. To gain real confidence in yourself and others can take years and even decades. And just so you know, that is completely normal and okay. Keep doing it. Gaining this new skill takes practice and learning, as does any skill. By obtaining and utilizing this new skill in your everyday interactions, you can start to piece together what expectations you can let go of, and what ones are actually relevant to your life and to the lives around you. However, when we are over-confident, we tend to exude a different kind of awesomeness…the annoying kind. No one appreciates hearing all about your trials and tribulations day in and day out, especially when it keeps playing on repeat for months and even years. Touch base with yourself on where you are in your journey and why you keep worrying so much about confidence being your number one go-to. Try meditating or find a way to talk to your inner self and see what you can work on to really hone in on new limitations to set for yourself when you’re around others.

Finding Balance in Self Expectations

Although we humans find it hard to believe, finding the right amount of confidence can be incredibly helpful for balancing out the amount of expectations and limitations that we set for ourselves and for those around us. Challenge yourself to be less judgmental and more understanding of how people come across within their conversations to you. Do you have a personal story that relates? Please feel free to share in the comment section a high expectation that you held for either yourself or your loved ones that you’re working on shedding or have shed in the past. Being human is hard. Learning about our feelings and not feeling bad about learning about them is a weird thing in itself. Don’t set unnecessary expectations for learning, but please don’t limit yourself either on what your true potential can be. You can continue to grow in every second of every day, and I one hundred percent encourage you to keep doing so.   Thank you for reading today’s post Working Through Self Expectations and Limitations!  See my last post Practicing Gratitude in 2023.     Check out our sister site Rooted in Reselling