We started out November with some self-reflecting and observations. These observations could have been of yourself, of your loved ones, or maybe even of your so-called friends. Those things tend to change drastically over the years, and although we ebb and flow through them, there are some things that never change. My advice is to not get caught being one of them. Let’s take a look at finding yourself and gaining clarity in life through my story.
Finding Yourself and Gaining Clarity Starts as a Child
As we grow up and find our way as small children and then teens into young adults, we find a bunch of friends along the way that “have our back.” We find relationships and lovers with whom we think may last a lifetime, but perhaps may only be in our lives for a season. How is it that we remain blind to some things along this journey? And better yet, how is it that we can remain free of that blindness? During our formative years, some things set in, leaving us the fondest memories (and expectations) of how things “should” be in the future events to come. We find ourselves holding higher and higher hopes about what our friends and loved ones should be doing, while really, we should be focusing on the growth and changes that we ourselves have been making along the way. How do we overcome these obstacles during our youth, so that we can better navigate the realms of adulthood during the years where we’ll be challenged the most as an individual? How do we find who we really are without having to go through finding who we actually aren’t?
Finding Out Who I Am
The hard and real truth is however, that we simply don’t. Of course we all differ in our human experiences, and we may go through different truths of our own throughout life, but in my own personal journey, I’ve found that finding out who I actually wasn’t time and time again, has truly proved to myself now at 32 years of age who I actually am. I’m a writer, a better listener, a dog lover and adopter, a wife and a daughter. I’m also an entrepreneur, a fun-seeker, a (semi-adventurous) thrill-finder, beginner rock climber, moderately experienced hiker, semi-understanding gardener, and a lover of all things nature. I relish the days like this one where I get to enjoy my birthday in an off-grid location at a teeny tiny cabin settled into the autumn colored fall woods. I hiked in the rain with my husband and dogs, enjoyed meals cooked on a propane stove looking out into the trees, and walked down into the nearby creek to enjoy my morning tea. These are truly the moments that I love to fully immerse myself in. Related: Why I Chose Courage & It’s Endless ReservationsLooking to the Past to Grow in the Future
3 years ago, 5 or even 10, I would have made the Mr. Yuck sticker face towards a day like today. You see, I’ve always loved things like this deep down, but for some reason it’s taken me until now to realize that birthdays can be anything you want them to be, and they don’t always need to be spent by pleasing everyone else. So often we spend our well-earned time off checking things online, ticking off tasks that others ask of us, or using our hard earned dough to spend on ourselves “because we deserve” whatever material thing it is that we’re longing for. If we would just simply offer more experiences to our physical being, perhaps our mental one would be in a much better state.
Using Reflection When Finding Yourself and Gaining Clarity
Reflection is about change. For years and decades I used to think that change was notoriously bad. If you changed, well then you must have gone to the dark side. Forgotten your truest self. Adjusted your ways for another. But as you reflect upon who you were this year, think about these things. Did you change something for the better? Or maybe for the worse, but can reel that in now and understand what needs done to adjust things moving forward? Perhaps you quit drinking, maybe you even made it to your 1 year sobriety coin. Or maybe you’ve decided to be a better listener to your partner to encourage a healthier and happier lifestyle as a partnership. Is it something that you’ve done for them…or for you? If you can help yourself by helping others, I don’t see that as being selfish in any way. Although, it’s okay to be selfish. It heals you internally when you do things that feel good to you. When’s the last time you had your favorite snack? (Without turning the TV on or scrolling through your latest YouTube shorts). Have you spent any time taking a relaxing bath or joining no one but your thoughts in the sauna?Look For Introspective Opportunities
Being off-grid this weekend has been something I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time, and it’s perfectly suiting my feelings as well. We all live in a hyper-active and overworked lifestyle in 2023, and so I’m shooting for a little more slow down as we roll into 2024. My challenge to you this month is to really look inward and find what it is you have been searching for. Is it freedom from something, from someone? Is it finding a way to improve your own well-being to create a better you for the long run? Whatever it may be, just get started. Start reflecting more and taking a moment to pause and truly absorb whatever it is you’re doing. Enjoy life, by really living it to the fullest the best way you know how.
