Why Staying True To Natural Intentions Can Allow Room For Personal Growth
Hey guys. I’ve been wanting to say thank you for some time now, but today just felt like the right day, so, here we are. If you’re wondering why I’m saying thank you, it’s because I genuinely appreciate each and every single human being that travels digitally to follow along this journey with me while learning how to balance our habits. Every day seems to get a little more interesting and a little less of a struggle with the adulting world of self-exploration, so I wanted to show my gratitude today by embracing the community that we are all a true part of. <3 Passions and Personal Growth Sometimes life feels weird and gets you in uncomfy situations. It catapults you up and down like a rollercoaster and makes you continuously question why you’ve made the steps you have to get into the next phase of this life. But only when you begin to absorb those daily lessons and apply them with gratitude, do you begin to view things in a different light. What is your current uncomfy situation? Let’s talk about that in the comments if you’re open to sharing. Recently on HB’s facebook page I asked what topics you’re most interested in learning about. It was amazing to see just how many people would like to hear more about topics related to travel. I am 110% game for that being that travel is one of my most favorite things to do. However. I also want to stay true to HB’s true intentions on this blog, which is self-development, personal growth, and finding our true passions along this journey of life. And because of that, those will be sprinkled in along the way as well. Because without growth, without passion and development, we cannot truly embrace and experience all of that which travel can really bring us. Here are my top 5 current passions if you’re wondering: Travel (Enjoying all of earth’s natural beauty and putting this on my to-do list as often as possible) Competing in BJJ (Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and reigniting my competitive spirit) (new post on this to come if there’s any ladies out there looking for some inspo!) Hiking (Staying active in nature and soaking up natural vitamin D more often) Mental Health (Maintaining the foundation and allowing more room for growth) Physical Growth (Pushing my boundaries physically) What are your top 5 passions? (These cannot include family/friends/pets/etc). Related: Looking Internally – Rediscovering Your Why & Why It’s So Important To Growth Attitude of Gratitude Without creating situations in our lives that create discomfort, we are forced to stay stagnant and uncomfortable in a whole different sense. Discomfort that eventually will bring disease and doubt in ourselves to stay the course once we’ve dug ourselves too deep in a hole that we need help getting out of. Habitual Balance isn’t just about feeling good on the outside while we travel the world or hike in nature, it’s also about feeling good inside, and knowing when to put yourself first instead of grinding and grinding until you come in dead last. It’s okay to be selfish when it comes to your mental and physical health. It’s okay to be kind to your mind and enjoy a restorative day instead of venturing out in the world of people. So I want you to focus more often on realizing your deepest intentions and finding what fears you’re facing so that you can confront them and move into the next chapter of your life. Being human is incredible, we have a million and one things to be thankful for every moment we breathe. Here is what I’m thankful for from you: Being supportive of this personal growth Feeling supported along your own path Engaging with the HB community and connecting with others who share the same mindset Being in the drivers seat of your own awareness and understanding of what needs accomplished Recognizing how to keep an open mind while you browse through another’s journey online I started this blog because I not only feel the desire to help another like-minded soul embrace their own journey, but to also keep myself accountable and updated on how I’ve been or how I am currently feeling on my own path. I want to share my story so that others like you know they are not alone on what they’re going through. Habitual Balance is About Community Growth Too There are so many false positives in the world today with social media knocking at our screens 159 times per day (yes, that’s an actual statistic), that we have to wonder what is truly real anymore. Who is actually happy on the other end of that screen and how many individuals are actually going through something traumatic but are too fearful to share it with their “peers” on their following? I want to be real with you guys. To be empathetic to your own stories and want you to be able to fully embrace mine. I want you to feel seen and for myself to feel seen through the eyes of others going through so many of the same things. So often we judge someone on their external appearance (through real life or through a filtered screen), that we mistakenly never notice when they are actually reaching out for help. Habitual Balance is not only about reaching balance in your habits, but also about how to sense when your community is in need and what you can do to lend a helping hand. Self-growth is both inward and outward personal growth. They are one in the same. Meaning that it’s okay to be selfish and focus on your own growth, but try to not leave others in the dust at the same time. Remember who they are to you and how they’ve helped you get to be the you that you are today. We are nothing without our community. Did you catch that? It is okay to
Here’s 5 Reasons Why You Need To Be Your Own Best Friend
Hey you fabulous person you. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back because only you can fix your uncomfy situation, and by being here, with a like-minded person going through the same things, is step one. For reals friend, you’ve already recognized that your situation is less than ideal, so you went searching on the web to find someone going through the same things. That’s where I come in! Your bff from afar, I’m here to support you along the weird and winding way. Whatever it is that you’re going through, just remember that you are in control of your outcomes. Here are 5 reasons why being your own best friend is so important. Balancing Flow Vs. Control You may be like, but Shelby, you’re sounding hella contradictive from last post, that talked all about how we need to let go more often and enjoy the flow of life more frequently. How we can thrive from not over planning and overthinking about each and every last detail. And that’s totally true. BUT. YOU ARE IN CONTROL of what decisions you make along this flow of life, and where you end up in your future. So, let’s talk about becoming more balanced in our habits regarding control vs. the flow. First of all, let me preface this by stating that it’s taken me *literal years* to understand that me, myself and I can make shit happen. And sometimes, that shit can be scary… But the best part about the scary parts is that we get to work through them. We get to understand the conflict and rise up on the other side. We get to realize our true potential and learn how to knock down barriers along the way. If you can start replacing that one little word, trust me it’ll make a world of difference. But besides that, I want you to recognize that barriers take time to build up, which also means that they’re going to take time to tear down. So don’t get discouraged, because I’ve got your back. Hey Friend, Start Putting Yourself First We talked in the last post about how life doesn’t always seem to hit perfectly every time. And although I do feel I’m on the right track to my life-lasting happiness, no one can ever understand what it is that actually gets us there. We may think that we need to have these grand plans and giant steps in the business world or with our families to check into the next level up. That we have to “have it all figured out” by the time we’re 30, and in the process make sure that said families don’t hate us or want to disown us for embracing different beliefs as we grow into our own new person. But you see, that’s not true at all. The more we grow and learn and acquire throughout life, the more we can interpret it into our own little unique situations. Which in turn, allows us to apply those new found tidbits into daily life and continue creating the best lifestyle we know we can accomplish. I want to inspire anyone reading this to start putting themselves first. Now I’d like to consider myself an empathetic person because I literally feel bad for every single thing, bug, plant, and human being on this planet. It’s sort of annoying at times. But guess what? As they say, no one’s coming to save you. And therefore, you my friend, need to save yourself. Related: Learning To Walk Through Struggle: Realizing My Journey Is My Own 5 Tips For Being Your Own Best Friend So, how do we go about all this lah-dee-dah-dee self-saving? Check out this handy-dandy list. It’ll get things started. Allow love in. This was a hard one for me. It seems so simple, right? But for a long time I (didn’t even realize) that I had a huge ugly wall up that was causing me to lash out at people I cared about. It was very uncool, but once I understood that to love myself more I needed to allow more love in from others, my life began to shift into more smiles and less RBF. Find your most authentic self, and love the shit out of them. Correct, similar to the first point, you have to surround yourself with people who love you for who you actually are, because if you don’t, you’ll likely be googling “what is imposter syndrome” in 20 years. Just be you, mmkay? Create “me time…” and STOP feeling guilty about it. Why is it that we harp on ourselves when things pop up that actually require some space? Why is it that we feel bad about carving out any tiny moment for making our hearts happy? Can we stop labeling “me time” as faulty time management and start embracing the extra minutes in the day doing something that we love, just for fun? Keep reminders, like, of everything. Guys, I’m sure we all probably have a love/hate relationship with AI and Alexa and Siri and Google Assistant and Chatgpt…BUT. Hear me out. Let’s begin to beat the haters at their own game by being on top of ours. Instead of being late to meetings, write them DOWNNNN girl. Instead of being late to an appointment, add them to your calendar right away and even go as far as including the location so all you have to do is click on your GPS. Start putting yourself first and making sure you have time to prepare even for the most mundane of tasks. At the end of the day, you’ll feel refreshed and less stressed knowing that you didn’t have to rush that day or miss something of importance. Because YOU have got your own back. BOOM. 😎 “No” is a complete sentence. An oldy, but goody. We’ve heard it, probably said it to others jokingly, and maybe even used the phrase to make fun in a conversation. But I’m serious, friends! I just used it the other day. I don’t remember what for, but that’s the beauty of it. It
When You Quit Trying to Control, You Can Begin Living
Will it ever be easy? Letting something go? Whether it be a person, place or thing, even a pet, it’s hard to let things go when they constantly weigh on you. So instead, we grab onto the control button because it’s the next best thing to determine our fate. Or is it? Even though we’ll feel in control for a little while, it’s bound to break after so long. Then the spiraling will begin again and we’ll wonder how it slipped so easily through our fingers. Control is a beast, but we can manage to escape it just like everything is. All we have to do is learn how to let go. I Had It All Figured Out 10 years ago I had this Suzie homemaker dream kit in my mind of how I wanted to live my life. I had everything planned out, perfectly spaced in my head so that I could make it all “work.” That plan was flawed though, because I forgot to include something in the plan. Life. No matter how much we try to control it, it always ends up controlling us in the end. So, maybe we should just start letting that happen from the beginning instead? When I had made those initial plans, freshly married and in our cute little second apartment, I had no idea that it would turn out any differently than how I wanted it. You see, life has a funny way of circling back around, which I imagine is what is happening now as I think back to those moments and wonder why certain plans don’t end up the way you foresee them to. I was going to make everything from scratch. I was going to grow a huge garden. I was going to live as off-grid as I could because I knew better. But, as my dad continues to remind me throughout the years, only aging can prove to you that you did not, in fact, know better. (Thanks for being right dad). Discovering How To Have Gratitude For Any And All Of Life’s Bounties Life Finds a Way The difference now is, that I don’t feel as though I missed out or lost time. I only feel that it went to fast and that maybe I could have approached certain situations a little differently. I would have liked to grown my knowledge more about some topics such as gardening and homesteading in my 20s, but here I am in my 30s doing so anyway. Sometimes it just takes life figuring itself out for us to realize that all the stops along the way did actually need to happen for us to circle back around with a better mindset to living our lives. Although the same goals are in my future, I have a much different game plan for them and understanding of how I want to enact them. I see time differently as well, knowing that I should make the most of it but also being balanced and mature enough to realize time for rest when my mind or body needs it. Controlling My Goals If I had controlled all of those goals perfectly from the beginning, I’d have never gotten to experience beautiful things such as bringing life-changing pets into my life, understanding what it’s like to own a home, recognizing that I actually loathe the corporate world as a bee-bopping entrepreneur, and realizing that only I can make my dreams come true by working on myself and increasing my emotional maturity along the way. What are your goals and dreams? Have you already set the path forward for them? Quit Trying to Control Everything I have encountered so many people over the years that try to micromanage every aspect of their lives. Themselves, their families, their careers, their homes…maybe we could invite a little more play into the mix and stop becoming so stressed about every minute detail on the calendar. Maybe we could give others a little more empathy in understanding that they’re probably more like us than we’d care to admit. And maybe, we could start working on ourselves a little more each day so that we can actually achieve said goals and dreams instead of just waiting around wishing for them to come true. 5 Steps To Achieving Your Goals and How I’m Planning Mine So many of us get into the extremes of life as soon as the alarm goes off. We start our day with agony and depression and stress before we even plant our feet on the floor. We let small disruptions that don’t really matter completely wreck and ruin our entire day or even week sometimes, only to momentarily hit reset on Sunday evening just hoping this one will be better than the rest. Real Living Starts When You Quit Trying to Control I’ve watched friends sink into circles of doubt in themselves because they wonder why they feel stuck. They become a part of the problem instead of trying to resolve it. They choose to continue stressing about situations that no longer require their attention. They decide to drag themselves into conflicts that happened years or even decades ago without even realizing that those memories are simply that, memories. I want to encourage anyone reading this to experience life in its beauty. To embrace the little blunders in life instead of working against them. Please begin showing yourself love and care and empathy and understanding, because the only one that can get you out of those situations is yourself. You have to be stronger than you think. But I know you can do it. Once we let go of the discomforts, once we let go of trying to control, once we let go of feeling bad for ourselves will we truly have the opportunity to grow and connect with our best self. Until then, we need to just continue taking one step at a time and becoming a little bit better every day. We can
Sleep Deprivation: The Enemy of Productivity
You do it, I do it, we allll do it. Way too often. Sleep is something we’re quite literally well, sleeping on as a society in the modern world, and it’s causing us all an array of preventative health issues. Boo to that. Isn’t it time we started prioritizing our health in the most simplest way possible? What do your sleep patterns look like on average, and why the heck are you all staying up so late?!?! Today, I want to explore how sleep deprivation affects health and productivity. The Importance of Sleep to Our Health Hey! My name is Shelby and I’m a sleepaholic. I’ve never truly embraced this side of me until becoming a full grown adult woman, but I’m living in that reality right meow and freaking loving it. As far back as I remember though, I was always addicted to sleep, so much so that I was late to school and work countless times throughout the years because bed was just so much better than dealing with my social anxiety. I used to think it was a problem, in that I would feel bad anytime I wanted to sleep more instead of going out, or staying in with friends, or being a social butterfly in the classroom or workforce. I actually never realized that the lack of it had such a detrimental effect on my overall health and I sure didn’t know that it was so important to put first. Today though, I am a much more health-focused individual that wants only to think about the long game. Longevity is all I have in sight for my family and I, and anything I can do to extend this beautiful life is pushed far up on that list. Superfoods, supplements, and sleep are where its at, my friends. …Hmm. I’m feeling an upcoming superfoods and supplements post for sure! <3 But for now, let’s get back to the main topic. Actually how important is sleep to our health and why is it that we should be spending more of our lives looking at the inside of our eyelids? Related: Developing Routines & What is Sleep Hygiene Did you know?? Sleep deprivation isn’t only caused by the lack of enough sleep, but ALSO by stress, poor eating habits, and depression. And you know what else? Sleep needs to be at the times its most needed. Your body will let you know! So, stop avoiding those feelings and embrace them, your overall self will be happy you did! Here are *just a few* of the symptoms you may have experienced with sleep deprivation. Drowsiness Inability to concentrate Impaired memory Reduced physical strength Diminished ability to fight off infections Which can lead into more issues down the road such as stroke or severe mood swings, EVEN hallucinations…and ain’t nobody got time for that. (Check out this article by Hopkins Medicine to learn a little more about the causes and effects if you’re interested!) It’s truly amazing to me how many of us go about our daily lives not even knowing that this is an actual problem and how sleep deprivation affects health. Experiencing “microsleeps” or just being angry at the world because we got up on the wrong side of the bed. Having enough shuteye each evening can seriously boost not only your mental and physical well-being, but also ensure that your productivity stays at level GO all day, err day. (Especially needed for us entrepreneurs out here). Now I understand why it was (and IS) so freaking hard to roll my blah feeling body out of the bed each morning when the alarm hits at 4:30am. Everyone has different chronotypes and although my Oura Ring is tracking me as an early morning bird, TRUST that I am, in fact, NOT. Lately, I’ve been listening to others talk about how they get 4-5, *maybe* 6 hours of sleep and they’re “good to go.” PEOPLE. That is NOT okay. (Sure, this is just the opinion of one lone crazy woman on the internet telling you so, but hey, she speaks the truth…backed by other information on the interweb, of course). Why instead of building our sleep cycles around our jobs and daily activities, can we not build our daily activities and jobs around our sleep cycles? Is it really that hard?? Sleep Deprivation Affects Brought to By Your Favorite Streaming Service Most people will say yes, 100% yes. It’s the modern world, my friends, which means that going hard or going home fully applies to many situations, including on the job site or in the corporate world. Although it’s slowed down some over the last few decades and Covid has given us a solid chance to prove ourselves from home, we’ve still got a long way to go in providing the ample sleeping hours that our bodies and minds truly demand. When you think about it, it’s not really fair that we’re working at say 50-70% almost every day, simply because of our lack of desired sleeping hours. And hell, even when those hours are handy and available, we’d rather reach for the remote and sink ourselves into the latest season of the Bachelor or Yellowstone. Then, of course, the following day consists of becoming annoyed easily, feeling groggy, or reaching for an energy drink of your choice. And for some reason, we can’t trace it back to just staying up later than we should have for something that doesn’t actually bring us that much joy. I think it’s time we started prioritizing sleep more frequently and stopped staring at screens before bed. Challenge yourself and your loved ones to do the same if you want! Drop a comment letting your friends of HB know how the challenge is going after a day, a week, or even a month if you’re game. I suggest at least an hour before bedtime, shutting the screens down and turning on some dim lights to get yourself into the
Discovering How To Have Gratitude For Any And All Of Life’s Bounties
Hello my friends! As I was in the Lowes parking lot today, I had no intention of coming out with anything but a few cases of water. You see, I missed our last water delivery, so I’ve been needing to pick more before the next drop off. (I know I know, #firstworldproblems). However, I ended up leaving with an entire flat cart full of natures bounties. Although Lowes isn’t my go-to stop for indulging in new nature-inspired decor or plant-life, it just happened to be the best place I could have ended up today, because it taught me something. Let me tell you what that something is. Discovering how to have gratitude. What Does Gratitude Mean to You? Many moons ago, I relished in materialistic things as I made more and more financially. I didn’t grow up this way, and I don’t really need much to get by. But I did go through a short phase (which I’m sure a lot of us do), where I continued to raise my income and along with it, continued to raise my expenses on useless things. Sure, some of those items are still around, but as my husband and I chatted about this last night, (ironically enough), we both agreed that most of those things we purchased back then are basically nonexistent in our current lives. We’ve learned a lot over the years, not just about one another, but about ourselves as well. And, when we come together in a thought process like that, it’s really cool to be able to embrace the same feelings together to know that I’m not alone in thinking something. I’m not really sure what is so enticing about spending your hard-earned moolah, but hindsight is 20/20, and lemmmeee tell ya. There’s not a whole lot from my past self’s purchases that I would consider purchasing as my 33 year old self. Although I try to practice the whole, “it brought you joy at the time,” phrase…it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t change things if I could go back. This way of living taught me more about who I am today, so it was beneficial, don’t get me wrong. BUT, I would have definitely indulged way less if I’d have known that the joy those things brought me would soon fade away. What are some instances that you have done the same? Do you have any regrets from past purchases or things you wish you would have done differently? Where I Found My Gratitude These days, I’ve noticed that I enjoy experiences MUCH more than anything else in the world. When I say “experiences,” you may be thinking things like concerts, events, dinners, double dates…but no. My perfect version of a great experience is simply one that I can travel somewhere adventurous with my partner. And, if I can’t go anywhere at the moment due to work obligations, family to-dos, or even just because we want to stay home for a bit, my next favorite experience is to stay home and enjoy my (now 6) furballs. I’ve worked a little bit every day at making it more inviting, more relaxing, and a more comforting space so that when I come home from wherever I was that day, I can simply sink into my comfy clothes and cuddle with my spouse and my pets. Lately, I’ve realized that there’s not enough nature and “life” living inside, (which is probably because we’re so immersed in it when we’re out hiking incredible trails). Because of those adventures, I feel an addiction to get more, but when I can’t go somewhere, I decide to add a little touch of it into my home instead. Adding things like new plant life, a cool fish, a leopard gecko or a bearded dragon (hopefully both of which to come), or even just as simple as grabbing some bags of dirt to breathe in the outside while I’m indoors, or planting tiny seeds into new trays for the spring time. Every year I grow tired of gardening by November, only to then crave doing more of it come February. This is the time that seeds begin to become available again, and my wants to create a beautiful garden once again arise. Today was that day. But not only did I realize that I was excited for planting soon, but just to smell the dirt and feel it with my hands was something that called to me. And, as I was driving home multiple plants in tow, I realized something else…I am so much different than I used to be. Find Gratitude In Yourself Finding yourself is basically the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I speak of this from my own experiences, as I’ve gone through quite a few of those “aha” moments. It’s accepting that change is okay, and that being your complete authentic self is freaking awesome, and when you do so, a whole new world awakens. I found gratitude on that drive home for recognizing the growth in my life. Not only in the difference of purchases, but in the difference of how I perceive things. No more am I led by decisions of others or worry, but finally by decisions of sureness and acceptance. I want you to start feeling the same. Start understanding when it’s okay to pivot and make a change that feels right. Recognize that gratitude can hold many forms and that becoming your best self doesn’t have to look like what you think it does or what the world is telling you it should. Once that feeling flowed through me today, I realized that I am truly happy in my home, with life all around me, and with nature in every corner that I can fit it in. I don’t think that this is embraced enough in the fast-paced, screen-filled world. Even though we’ve made huge strides in the last few decades, I think that millennials especially need to realize that self-love and slowing down is enough. This life
Calling All Overthinkers: What Is Your Status Quo?
I learned something today. About myself and about other people as well. I decided to choose self growth over making money, and that was a huge milestone in my step forward. I didn’t realize it until I was standing here, eating an apple, filling my water bottle, and not rushing around because at that moment I recognized I had chose creating a lifestyle. I just wanted to be over burning myself out and escaping into a world. I don’t want to merely exist. Someone asked me how I felt about therapy and talked about how they like to stay busy so that they can zone out and not have to worry about thinking. When I questioned them on why they don’t want to be able to have time to think, they said it was because if they start to think too much, then they will start to realize that they’re not on the trajectory that they want to be in this life…have you ever felt this way? Let’s all stop overthinking every instance of our lives. Stop Being an Overthinking Overthinker They were overthinking all the things that they’ve done wrong up until this point because they’re not at the level they’d like to be at yet. I say yet because it’s just a process. Everyone always tells you to “trust the process,” but how many of us actually implement it? We go on and on about how we wanna use self growth and change our mindsets. So, we listen to audiobooks and podcasts and watch some shorts on YouTube and read blogs like this one too pretend we’re on the right path, but are we actually doing the things that need to be done to get us to that point? I’ve had a lot of conversations recently with my spouse about lifestyle change. Not meaning that I don’t like my lifestyle at this point, but that I want to make changes to improve it and continue improving it as I get older. We talked about how not every personality is the same and how we as humans differ in mindset, challenges and goals. Just because you have someone as a life partner doesn’t mean that you can’t still accept responsibility to step up and tackle your own goals and dreams. You have the time, you have the energy, and you have the space…you just need to start making it a priority in your life instead of overthinking and putting it on the back burner. Even if you just work on it five minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, or if you’re really ambitious, an hour a day, you can continue to make progress in those changes. Therefore, you will continue to see growth happen month after month, and then year after year. Related: Personal Growth: The Ultimate Long Game Breaking Free from Overthinking and Embracing Your Next Step So as I write to you today, I think about my new status quo. Is it different from my old status quo? Or is it the same, and I’m just a little bit different at understanding it? I consider how each and every one of us realizes at different points in life that we are on our own trajectory. Some days, we fill flooded by overwhelm and too filled to the brim with tasks and chores and to-do lists. We have so much on our plate that we wonder if we’ll ever be able to just “catch-up.” If you’ve talked to enough people by now, you’ll probably agree that everyone else believes “you never really catch up.” Well I said fooey to that, my friend. Isn’t it time that we started accepting the responsibility of adulting and recognizing that we can really do anything we put our minds to? Isn’t it time that we stopped listening to the noise around us that keeps trying to pull us down into their bubble? As we grow, we should continue to try to keep learning. Pushing ourselves to new levels and trying new things to level up our mental and physical growth. Is it fair to say that we need to overcome being boring so that new opportunities can open up to us? No one wants to be stuck, but yet everyone always feels the need to stay in their comfort zone. Why?? The more we push outside of that bubble, the more we can float on up to the next level of consciousness that propels us into a new realm of thinking. It’s mind-blowing, beautiful and an amazing process. So, are you tired of people telling you that you can’t have it all or be on the level you choose to be on? Are you tired of others assuming your status quo will never be attainable? Or are you ready to jump ship and choose your own path to be challenged and prepared for anything coming your way? I vote the latter. In my own life, I’ve decided to starting embracing the need to accept myself more often for who I actually am. I’ve stopped caring (and overthinking) so much about other people’s negative energy and have tried to adapt by going with the flow more frequently. I don’t mind if others stress that “I’ll never really be ready for parenthood,” and that “I just need to accept that I’ll never be able to catch up.” The coolest thing is knowing that I AM ready for certain things. Knowing deep down that I DO have the power to choose when the next chapters of my life take place. Life is just a series of choices, and knowing that I’m solely in charge of those choices gives me the freedom I need most to feel comfort in taking the next step. What does your next step look like? Enjoy this post? Check out Embracing Vulnerability : The Art of Slowing Down and Seizing New Experiences — Thank You For Reading “Calling All Overthinkers: What Is Your Status Quo?”
You Say Fatty Liver, I Say Eff That.
So guys. We’ve talked about getting older. We’ve raved about the benefits and boo-hooed about the bummers along the way. We have also discussed how we get tripped up in so many ways when it comes to preventing bad health because every doctor we go to just wants to treat it with Advil or Pepto Bismol or Tylenol instead. (Well not mine, because she’s awesome…get yourself a direct care physician, they cut out the middleman and provide one-on-one care by taking time to understand your full needs instead of shooing you in and out of an office). If you’re in the Pittsburgh area, check them out!) But anyway, I’m seriously tired of waiting around for an answer to my issues. I want to be able to do every single thing I can to start PREVENTING further complications when I’m 40, 50, or 60. So, who’s with me in learning all about our beings and making sure we can kick butt when we’re wrinkly. Leggoooo. Why Looking Healthy on the Outside Doesn’t Always Mean You Feel Good Inside Listen, I’m no expert in the medical field so please don’t go all cray cray on me in the comments. I’m just a regular (kind of) oldish lady feeling the waters of the aging process. It’s annoying to say the least. But we’re not here to say the least, are we? I’ve been in and out of doctor appointments for going on 2 years now regarding a pain in my side that has not gone away. At first I thought it was a pulled muscle, turns out it may actually be that (just a really, really deep one!), but alas, the nagging pain is still present, especially when I participate in the sports I love most. (Strength training, running, and BJJ). Anytime I hit the mats on that side, it feels like I land on a whole ass stress ball. It’s not super severe, but I obviously avoid it as much as possible, (therefore hindering my game, which is UNCOOL). It’s something I thought would have gone away by now, but it persists nonetheless. So I’ve gone through a handful of tests including blood draws, MRIs and ultrasounds. All of which to tell me that I’m *basically* completely normal and that I need not worry about my health since, on the surface, I’m a healthy, active, young woman. AHEM. Let me just bring back the old saying we all know and love. “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Meaning simply, just because on the outside we look healthy and completely normal, does NOT mean internally we are doing “just fine.” And guess what? This goes for not only your internal organs and such, but also for anxiety, stress, depression, you name it. What you see is not always what you get. Some people just come out of the womb 100% present and confident in themselves and fully authentic from the start. And others, like myself, and maybe you too, come out scrambling trying to realize their own story and put piece by piece together of what brings them the most joy. I’m not saying it’s harder for us to find what makes us happy in life, but a lot of times, it really is that simple. So, don’t overthink it. But when it comes to my health, my internals that make me alive and beating, I want to ensure I’m doing EVERYTHING I can to make full use of all my years and not be bummed out at 50 because I can’t move as well as I used to. I need to feel better than that. I need to keep running, keep playing, keep competing every single day to feel alive and healthy in my current skin. A Safe and Confident Woman? We talked before about fatty livers, and how much more common they are than not. We talked about cysts forming from birth control and how it’s deemed “normal” among women in their 20s/30s in their “child-bearing years.” Like, wtf? No, sir or ma’am, that is not NORMAL. That is not cool, and not okay with me, and I’m sure to my fellow lady friends out there, probably not with you, either. I don’t believe that ingesting a pill for years on end that creates permanent damage to another organ is okay. I thought by taking that, I was being a “safe and confident woman.” And here, all along, I was just adding another problem in my life in the form of never-ending cysts that continue to grow. Whether or not that is the sole reason is unbeknownst to me at this time. However, I do know that it is chalked up to one of the “maybes” of why they are present right now on my liver. And it does not make me super pumped. Not only that, but whatever the issue persisting is, it’s growing. My instructions when I asked what I could do to help reverse the fatty liver or decrease the size of the cyst were simply, “continue doing what you’re doing,” or “there’s nothing you can do for it, we’ll check back in a year.” …To say I had fumes coming out of my ears was an understatement. I Won’t Stand Idly By I know there are likely medical professionals out there that know better, and by all means, I’d be more than happy to have one weigh in to drop some doc knowledge in the comments. But until then, I shall simply provide my two cents about why these statements cause me so much unrest. Why can’t I “do anything?” Why do I have no other options than to “continue doing what I’m doing,” and why the hell do I need to wait a full year to make sure it hasn’t grown more in size?! Like, no thanks, I’d rather stop it where it’s at now, mmkay. I try to stay a realist and understand that the medical field
Focusing On Letting Go Of My Past Self And Trusting The Process Of The Present (Including The Launch Of My First Book)
Years ago I thought I was ready for children. I was going to have 4, maybe 5 and it was going to be freaking GREAT. I “knew” I’d be an awesome mom because well, everyone around me was so sure of it, of course! Funny that most of those people are no longer in my life…it’s as if they really didn’t know me that well after all. Have you experienced this sense of imposter syndrome? Were you ever afraid of what becoming a parent took or knowing that you were “ready?” I’d like to talk about this topic more in depth today and show you that feeling weird about preparing for parenthood is scary shit, and that shouldn’t be frowned upon. Where I am on the Journey to Parenthood I mean, listen. Becoming a mother is something I’m over the moon about. I know it’s going to be awesome and epic and I’m going to enjoy more of it than I think I will. It’s not all about wiping butts after all, there’s a lot of other amazing things along the way that I’ll have the opportunity to experience. But parental anxiety is a REAL thing. And it’s more common than we’d like to believe. Unfortunately the impact it creates for our decision making, the new financial burden hanging over our heads, and the stress that comes with worrying about whether the pregnancy will be alright, let alone the REST OF ITS LIFE. I get where these fears come from, they’re real, and things go unplanned every single day. Shit happens, but shit, that’s why it’s scary to become a parent! It’s hard enough to try and get through the speed bumps of your own life, let alone raise a tiny human. Creating a life is hard enough and keeping that little nugget in check is going to be even harder. However, I’m learning day by day to let go of my past self and embrace my future being. I’m finding new ways to focus on what matters most in my life and let go of the things that cause my stress and unease. It’s time we start looking for ways to enjoy the beauty of life instead of just getting through each hour by staring at the clock. Related: Reigniting The Feeling: Visiting Your Previous Self & Understanding What’s Changed I challenge you. I challenge you to pull into your driveway after work, (or walk to your front door if you take a bus or walk to work!), and just stand there. Holding your lunchbox, your purse, briefcase or backpack. Simply stand there and listen. Listen to the birds chirping, the wind blowing, listen to nature. Forget about the cars speeding by, or the people talking loudly, let it all fade away into the sounds of the surroundings that exist when you’re not there. Then, close your eyes and focus on your own breathing. (Stop thinking about what people passing are going to think of you, they’d be jealous if they knew how relaxed you’ll be once you’re done with this weird assignment). Enjoy just being present in that moment. No more work for the day to be done, no more people to answer to on the interweb. Just you, the birds, and the nature around you. Hear the silence among the bustle. Breathe it in peeps, because this is what really matters to provide peace in your life. If you’re anything like me at this stage in life, you’ll know that I’m doing my best to make efforts to grow in both mindset and spirituality. I’m constantly working on what I can do to have less decision fatigue, drive better moods each day, and be more present in my relationship with my spouse. We focus on traveling more, experiencing more, and doing less things that cause stress. Things like saying yes to things we would really rather say no to, things like avoiding additional triggers such as alcohol, too much caffeine or regularly eating unhealthy foods. And do you know what? By implementing these things into our daily lives together, we’ve been able to cross new boundaries that I truly don’t believe would have been possible before. Because with each new challenge accepted, and each new problem to solve, we continue to work better together to solve or overcome it. That’s why it’s clear to me now that my overthinking has done nothing but simply cloud my thoughts about signing up for parenthood. Preparing for What Comes Next Which leads me to speaking directly on the subject of what comes next. What steps are you taking in your life to stay on course? Or hell, maybe you want to go off course instead! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the journey you’re on. I’ve mentioned on the blog how I’m so freaking excited to hike to Havasupai Falls this April. (Don’t forget to come back shortly after to hear all about some juicy tips and tricks to backpacking there!) But when we return, we’ll be using my fancy-dancy Oura Ring to take advantage of those ovulation days, instead of avoiding the red days. No longer will I be tracking my cycle to look for green days, but actively trying to conceive instead. That’s correct, we are venturing ourselves into the long road of preparing for parenthood, and I’ve been trying like hell to not worry about every single little thing that comes with it. I’ve had many sleepless nights since deciding this, but I’ve also had a plethora of epiphanies as well. You see, parenthood and/or motherhood doesn’t have to be as scary as we make it out to be. It can be simple, relaxed, and adventurous. It can be beautiful, amazing, and perfect in its own way. It’s up to us to decide how we want to raise our children and how to maintain practicing self-care along the way. But don’t worry, cause I still got you boo. Breaking
Figuring Out How To Put Pain First: Looking Through A Different Lens
Who said pain was ever a bad thing? I look at it differently these days. This may sound controversial but I use it as motivation to do better, get stronger, and keep pushing my momentum into the great unknown. It has a bad rep but if you sit back and look at the bigger picture, it can move mountains. Distractions Stir Past Pains As I sat thinking how to intro this post today, I started dozing off as I overthought every tidbit that came into my mind. I decided to take a nap, which then landed in some serious distraction (which is what happens EVERY time). Ugh. Sometimes that distraction though is monumental in my efforts to engage in self-reflection. It leads me into a weird world of even deeper thoughts that envelop my current state of consciousness, therefore unfolding a ridiculously giant black hole of new information and ideas. I have no idea how this works. But it works. For some reason my thoughts turned to my grandmother. She passed a while ago and I actually haven’t thought of her too much recently. When she popped into my head, I decided to listen to some old voicemails I had of her. The tears started shortly after. It’s funny, you think you get over some things and then they just rush back in like nothing ever changed. The tears didn’t come until her last message to me…it was almost as if she wasn’t just saying goodbye in the message. It felt real, like she really knew this was going to be the last message I’d listen to over and over when I was feeling in need of her voice and guidance. Some call that a guardian angel, I just called her Gram. She was amazing and creative and beautiful and I still love her so much. After I finished her voicemail, I thought about the pain I felt in those tears of her being gone, and then how alive I feel in times when pain is at its most prevalent in my life. Allow me to explain… Pain is everywhere. We as humans just choose to ignore it most of the time. We push it down deep with pain pills or drugs or alcohol or other ways to mask its existence. I’m telling you to try embracing it. When I hike on cliff sides and my body aches from the miles of torture I’ve put it through, I feel alive. When I roll on a sweat-filled mat with a complete stranger smashing my insides in a BJJ gym, I feel alive. When I embrace the pain and face any fear that I have in my mind or body, I feel alive. So I ask you, why is it that pain scares us? What is it that makes us fearful of succeeding at something we know we can accomplish? Why is it so damn hard to accept that pain actually pushes us forward at times when we need it most? Related: How Self Reflection Helps You Grow as a Person The Pain and Growth Challenge I don’t understand life, and I’m sure you don’t either. But I do my best to relay these weird and circulating thoughts in my brain so that maybe one of you out there in the world can feel you’re not crazy like I used to think I was. It’s a strange world we live in, especially when we think of things like hiding what we really feel in fear of the way the world perceives us. Does it actually matter what most people care about? Do you actually care about what they feel? Probably not. When I lost the loved ones in my life, which there have been too many to count, I thought it was the end of so much. I thought that with my family members, my friends, even my pets. But the thing is, is that it has given me so much opportunity to form new growth. My branches have expanded past what I previously thought was possible because they continue to enhance and breathe stronger into growing new leaves. I’ve paid attention more, focused on studying less, embraced truths and felt more heartaches than I prefer to acknowledge. But the best part? They’ve created pain. And that pain created newfound strengths I didn’t know were underneath it all, all along. What gives you reason to reconsider the pain in your life? Do you have something you believe in that is being squashed by your lack of confidence? Can you do better by embracing what you have learned and applying it toward your future endeavors? I dare you to speak up more often, to challenge new approaches that you don’t agree with and feel the uncomfortable pain that comes along with unacceptance. Be brave, become more bold and start standing for what you believe in. And if that creates some pain in any sense of the word, use it. PS. If you’re still reading, here’s some motivation in the form of an old song. Some of you may know and love it, some of you may realize that Bob Marley was the OG of the first statement. It proves that you don’t need to follow the crowd to get ahead, you don’t need to say yes to everything. Trust the process and trust your gut. And if you hate it, try it anyway. Get uncomfy, friend. Disclaimer: This post is not condoning unnecessary pain. It does not look to endorse pain in a negative manner. It is meant solely for entertainment purposes only, from one person’s perspective, and is meant to show the positive outlook on embracing pain in a positive manner when possible through a shift of one’s mindset to create exponential growth. Related: Breaking Through The Pressure Of Society’s Expectations Have you enjoyed reading about Pain and Growth and how to embrace it all? We truly appreciate you reading today’s post on pain and growth through a new lens. If you enjoyed it, follow Habitual
Dry January…What About A Dry Life? 3 Cheers For Breaking The Generational Habit Of Alcoholism Part 1
Alcohol is a drug. It’s a poison. It’s what we learned in D.A.R.E. to stay away from and not steal from our parents fridges or pantries. It’s the gateway to doing “real” drugs or to allow you to let loose enough to say yes to them at least. It’s also the party bringer, the ease of all emotions, the life to any get-together with your college friends or your uncomfy in-laws. It allows freedom in your mind and body, to explore places and activities you may never have the chance to do unless you ingest some of that clear to dark brown liquid death. …Is it worth it? Why is Quitting Alcohol Frowned Upon? I write to you today as an early-thirties female that drank a little more than she should have in her adolescent years. I used to be ashamed of that, feel guilty talking about it even though it was such the norm when I was fully immersed. Those days flew by, not just because it was basically fun all the time every day all day, but because they were also a blur from being either intoxicated or hungover. I’ll be honest now, because well, I like you guys. And you know what? I like me a lot more now as well. It took a long time to come into that acceptance, but holy crapola am I sure glad I did. I don’t really know why it’s so widely accepted, or why it’s frowned upon for giving up and quitting drinking. People sure as hell don’t look at you sideways when you quit cigarettes, or drugs, or freaking pop for that matter. (That’s “soda” to you southern peeps out there). So, why is it so weird to the world when we decide to take the hard ass steps to becoming sober and quitting drinking? Why is it that we get shunned from parties and get odd looks at family functions when we’re not downing as many drinks as the rest of them? Strange, don’t you think? If you’ve been following Habitual Balance for some time now, you’ll know this has been a brief mention here and there. But each time we chat about it I’d like to dive into a little more context for the other uncomfortable humans like me that felt so out of their skin the first time we said it was time to give up alcohol. Making the Decision to Stop Drinking Alcohol Let me clarify. When I decided to throw in the towel on drinking, I actually never felt so sure of my decisions. (Coming from a HIGHLY indecisive person, may I add). But the uncomfies started flowing in when I started meandering out into the world and got googly eyes when I grabbed a sparkling water or a root beer instead of a brewski or a cocktail. (PS, did you know the word “brewski” is actually Russian? And here I thought it was some coined Pittsburghese or whatever. Pssh). Why is it so unnatural to ask for a different kind of beverage instead of quite literally pouring poison into ourselves? From what I’ve read and watched and listened to since becoming sober, I have begun to notice some amazing changes happening in our world. (Changes I would have also never known about before quitting drinking were I still to have the beer goggles on). Changes like local breweries that offer non-alcoholic beer to go along with their wood-fired pizza, or wineries offering their chilled juice instead to pair with their linguini, or even mocktail shops where you can go and find actual liquor look-a-like bottles that are all non-alcoholic. (In case you’re still feeling those uncomfies and want to try to get less weird looks when you go out). Alcoholism is a disease. …But it’s also a feeling. Related: Working Through Self Expectations & Limitations Alternatives to Alcohol Let’s put it to the test. What do you remember about your favorite party? What booze you drank or the high you got from being buzzed with your besties and the emotions that came along with it? Do you remember what shoes you wore or what outfit you finally decided on after an all day event of try-ons? (Not looking at pictures from the past, that’s cheating!) Or is it more like the vibes you felt from the crowded room where all your loved ones and friends were gathered and happy, singing Sweet Caroline and Asher Roth til the sun came up. Psst. (I’m guessing it’s the second one.) Therefore, I am totally here for the newest mocktail shops and NA beers coming onto the market. They’re more prevalent than ever before and I couldn’t be more excited for this movement. Check out this online shop that offers a TON of options for whatever you’re into. Here are my top 3 personal favorite sparkling water brands that are tried and true throughout the last 222 days. I prefer the lime flavored options, but if I can’t find any of those I just grab some lime juice and add my own! Topo-Chico (bottles or cans) San Pellegrino (bottles or cans) Liquid Death (as spotted below in the pic!) Don’t like sparkling water? Try this smoothie recipe out. The Benefits of Choosing an Alternative Beverage Do you know why? Because instead of feeling bad about regretted decisions since I would alter the state of my brain, I now can enjoy the feeling of celebrating my milestones with those closest to me with a cold Topo-Chico (with lime of course) in my hand. I remember everything, I wake up feeling hydrated and refreshed, the bubbles feel all bubbly-like, it’s great. Check this out… Lime extracts and brain health: Lime extracts may protect brain cells from the effects of sugar and amyloid beta toxicity. And guess what? It’s also helpful for those that struggle with anxiety, so, double yay! I’m sure you’ve heard of those “healthiest alcohol to drink” articles that explain in great detail how good it is