You think you know yourself and then life goes ahead and slaps you in the face again. WHY? Because well, it can. And it does, repeatedly. It’s times like these that make me step back and realize that even though you thought there was a road there one day, doesn’t mean there can’t be a cliff there another.

…maybe it’s time to take that leap you’ve been avoiding, eh?

Embracing the Struggle for Personal Growth

(PS – Stay tuned, because next month I’ll be taking my own leap. Check back in January…or subscribe!…to find out what it is!)

Let me talk to you today about being stuck. About feeling so stuck that you feel like your skin is crawling. Not in a bad way, but a creative way. As in, you know there is something that is calling to you, you just can’t figure out what it is yet. Maybe it’s because we’re out here searching high and low for it instead of letting the universe drop it in our laps when the time is right.

It’s hard when those around you support your successes but also may make you feel unworthy of things as well. Sometimes this can be close friends, co-workers, or even family. Are they jealous? That’s what the default setting is, right? No. I think it’s doubt. I think it’s doubt that who you’ve been or what you’ve done for so long has just sunken into their psyche and now to think that you’ll do something different, something more, is just so out of your reach that it’s now laughable to them.

Let them laugh.

Keep focusing on your own journey, your own growth. Keep realizing your own potential at your own pace because NO ONE ELSE can do it for you. Each time I encounter these people in my life, it only pushes me further.
Let them inspire you.
Let their doubt be the reason you succeed.

When we condition ourselves to live in this bubble of frustration and stress and angst and upset, it pulls us down. It ruins our good moods and the moods of those around us, so you know what? I’m starting to go against the grain and embrace it. I’ve learned little by little not to care about certain comments and to know when it’s okay to stay quiet.

For me, this is when I learn, when I process, when I internalize my feelings and thoughts and get what I call “a squeezy headache.” Maybe that sounds stupid to you, but we all have it in some way, shape or form. It’s that feeling of needing to get shit done. It’s that feeling of release. Whether that looks like a strong workout to you, or running a half marathon, or signing a deal. To me, it is writing. It is releasing my feelings to the world to show others that it’s okay to be yourself.

You don’t have to feel bad for it.

The Effort Behind Personal Growth

Sometimes I look at these people and get envious of their success. I relish in the idea that they have it all figured out and if I didn’t have these feelings, I may think that I wasn’t fully human. Because that’s what they are. Human freaking feelings.

I sit and wonder why it’s so hard for me to focus on what I want in life. Why it’s so difficult to just DO the things that need to be done.

And then I remember that what I learned growing into my adulthood is different than what they did. My growth is different than what theirs is. And my path is forged in a different direction than those around me.
And maybe that is for the best.

Because when I sit back and actually consider what their lives are like, what they’ve gone through (that I know of) and what I’ve gone through, I realize quite frequently that I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We all have our own shit storms to deal with. We all have our own traumas to navigate as adults and that’s okay. The way you are handling your own life is okay. Just keep doing your best and continue to be your authentic self.

Personal growth does not happen overnight. Hell, it may not even be done by the time you’re checking out. But as far as I see it, as long as we’re doing our best to make what we want out of life happen, then we’re on the right path.

Of course, growth takes effort. You can’t just sit back and watch the clouds roll by expecting change to show up at your doorstep. (Cloud watching is something I highly recommend though, as I’m sure you probably haven’t “had time” to do that since you were a kid). Go ahead, just do it for 5 minutes…without your phone in your hand.

*Need a reason to sit the eff down? Here’s a good one.
Check out the Insight Timer app and let your mind rest for a few minutes while you listen to soothing music or a quick guided meditation. It’ll be the best minutes of your day, pinky promise.

Navigating Challenges and Change

When you look at the bigger map of life, you start to realize that these little problems don’t mean as much. You start to embrace those daily habits changing little by little, because even though it feels like forever at the time, I bet when you’re 80 it’s going to seem like seconds.

I’m no longer for the “grind” kind of life. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. And just when you think you’re doing everything right, it knocks you back down to size.

If you’ve been following HB for a while now, you’ll know that this blog was born out of one of those core moments in my life. Oddly enough, just as I thought I’d been making the right moves finally, that same thing happened while I was at work last week. (Might I remind you that I wait tables for a living, so having a speech problem in the middle of my shift kind of put a damper on things).

(If you wanna learn more about those issues I’m referring to, check out this article, Breaking Through The Pressure Of Society’s Expectations)

It was at that moment, the seconds when the tingly face started setting in, that I knew what was happening. I knew that this time, I wouldn’t be able to escape it and that I would have to just work through it. (Kind of like life, right?)

Sometimes we hide behind knowing there’s always an escape route. Why? Doesn’t every self-help book out there tell us that to get over the pain that we need to move through it?

These are what my thoughts were in that moment. I had moved into an acceptance state of “this is a one time thing,” to “this is going to be a part of me forever…if I let it).”

The thing is, I don’t want it to be a part of me forever. I don’t like the way it feels or the way it encompasses my being.
So, I’m going to change it.

Habitual Balance Is Here For You

I want to encourage everyone following this blog that they can change their lives. No matter if it is fitness, mindfulness, or health related. (May I remind you that I am not a physician so please always consult them with serious matters).

However, trust the process. It may lead you to some pretty gnarly places that you may have thought you’d never see. It may lead you into paths you thought you’d never cross, with people you thought you’d never work beside.

Isn’t it time to embrace your own thoughts and goals and stop concerning yourself with those around you? Sure, we all have our support systems, but are those systems actually supporting you, or are they hindering your growth with judgement and doubt?

Start taking these things into consideration when you are determining your next steps. Begin recognizing that you can set the stage for your own success story. You don’t have to become what someone else tells you should, you can be in the driver seat to this thing called life, it’s just a matter of far you wanna take it.

Personal growth is a long game.
So, how much patience do you have?

***Hey you. If you’re into tracking your personal health, your stress, sleep, or even activity levels, I’ve got something special for you during this holiday season. Check out the Oura Ring and get 10% off your very own beautiful self-care wearable.

It’s been a life-changer for me. Even though I used to be hesitant with wearables, I’ve now embraced how technology is helping me to navigate the things in my life that I couldn’t do without it. It’s been transformative in showing me when I need to step it up or slow things down. They even just came out with a very cool feature that will alert you if your body is experiencing higher strain than usual, (eluding to added stressors or an illness forming).

I’m hopeful it’ll change your life for the better as well if you’re up for giving it a try. <3
-Shelby

 

 

Thank You For Reading “Personal Growth: The Ultimate Long Game”

Thank you to all my readers and supporters who have been part of my journey, including today’s reflection on personal growth. I sincerely hope this post resonates with someone and offers a bit of encouragement. Have you had a similar experience? I’d love to hear your story—share it with us!