To be courageous is so many things within itself. Let’s talk about those feelings and reservations that come along with building confidence in yourself and the courageousness that comes in behind it for the win.
A Call to the Sea
Many months ago I had this longing, urging, pulling feeling to go to the ocean. Or, so I thought. Ocean, ocean, ocean was all that I could think about. I wanted to book the next flight to Fort Lauderdale and drag my husband along with me. (Despite all of our actual commitments and responsibilities. Screw those, I thought. The time is now for us to embrace this nature of heading to the coastline and leaving the rest behind.
Long ago that’s exactly what I thought I would do. Leave all and everything behind me and head to the coast. I didn’t care which one, I figured I’d start out in Florida somewhere. It was where I was born, after all. I thought about how I’d sail with crazy sailboaters and see all the seagulls up close. I thought about how I’d wait on celebrities from my bar/grill on the shoreline and who I’d meet and the stories I’d hear about.
Then something changed.
I met the man of my dreams by literal chance during one of the last days I was contemplating this all. He encouraged me to keep my roots and not be a gypsy wandering around the countryside.
However, those feelings still reside deep down. (I’m sure many of you may feel the same!) Many days I ponder about how many places I could see or where I could still end up. The bright part of my life though now is that I have an amazing partner to share those feelings and experiences with, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Resetting for Self Growth
To take the step into settling down instead of branching out took a ton of courage on my end. I’m not sure about him, since I’ve never really sat down and asked about that. I didn’t really think of these things until recently, when I was having a sense of self identity crisis. Courage is knowing who you are and who you’ve become, and realizing the difference in who you used to be and how far you’ve grown. I needed a really hard hit to my soul to understand that.
So, I finally went to the beach.
Today I woke up and called into my day job. I took a nap, and woke up with beach vibes on my mind. This is the freedom that I long for and want you all to have, the feeling that nothing in the world matters more than your self-growth, and the knowingness that you, all by yourself, can accomplish those things.
Since I’m nowhere close to an actual beach with an ocean, I decided to opt for the next best thing. It’s where I went as a child, it’s where I went last year when my favorite dog passed away, and it’s where I am right here and now.
It’s only a lake, but I can see far and wide and I’m not able to see the other side, which makes it feel 90% like the ocean. It’s beautiful, serene, peaceful, and exactly what I needed. I needed the smell of the water and the feel of the wind and the sound of the seagulls from my younger years. I’ve been craving the touch of the sand and the softness of laying down on it before dipping my legs into the lukewarm water.
I needed these moments in sync with one another.
More Habitual Balance: Practicing Gratitude in 2023
Why I Chose Courage Today
I think it’s hard to overcome the realization that you’re at a self-growth crossroads. I’ve been more tuned into it this year than I ever have before, and I chalk that up to a plethora of things. The fact the my spouse is super supportive of my goals and journey, knowing that I am on a different path than his, releasing expectations that we should be following the same one. The fact that I had several health issues that I didn’t realize were even going to pop up at all, let alone in my early thirties. The fact that I’ve waited in some areas of life until I have the chance to be at my best and most accomplished in knowing my true self.
But here I am, learning, absorbing, and just being. Every single day.
This trip is approximately 2 hours for me, and by doing so today, I’ve decided that I will make this trip at least once every other week, if not every week. Treating myself to lunch and to relishing in the nature that surrounds me, in all seasons. It’s hard to get to know yourself, but I feel like so many of us struggle with it. We seek others approval on nearly everything, and never give ourselves the opportunity to really understand our own beings.
Why?
Why I Chose Courage Over All of Them
I had the word “Courage” tattooed on me several years ago. Right on my wrist so that I could always look down and it and be reminded to keep pushing through the hard things. It has helped me a lot since then, especially during our hike up Angel’s Landing in Zion. It reminded me to breathe, to embrace, to feel all of my surroundings and be entirely present in my situation. Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to go out and get a tattoo, after all, it’s not for everyone. But, it is for me, and it’s helped me a lot. I went back and forth with my endless decision making between words that were similar.
Want to know why I chose Courage over all of them?
Courage takes perseverance. Perseverance takes patience, and patience takes strength. They’re all related, and they were all options. However, courage is what was needed for each and every one of them, and I’m constantly reminded of how I made the best decision in choosing just one.
Continue Your Journey to Courage
We’ll talk more in the next post about how courage can build onto your confidence, but for now, I’d like to leave you with a few points to remember.
Courage is hope. Courage is pushing through. Courage is understanding yourself and recognizing growth when everyone else tells you it’s not. Courage is focusing on being alone and being okay with it. Making two hour trips just because you feel like it and not caring about what others think. (Within reason of course!)
My point is, you’ve got to start making tiny bits of time for just you. Make sure you can understand who you are because without that, you’re just moving through the motions not able to fully embrace situations and experiences to their fullest.
Find the time, trust me, it’ll be worth it.
Check Out: Working Through Self Expectations and Limitations
