For years, no actually, for decades, I’ve tried my darndest (that’s an old family word for “we worked really hard”), to settle with the notion that I can do everything myself. I can do the hard things, the heavy lifting and the mental and emotional workload. I can take on any task in the world because if someone else can do it, I can surely do it even better. Although that’s provided me with immense ambition, good success at certain things and okay skills at others, it never really allowed me to embrace the fact that doing just okay in something or needing help with a task was an actual idea I could get behind. But then it happened! I got older, and dare I say wiser, where today, I can look in the mirror today knowing full well that without a strong accountability partner by my side, I’d be far worse off.

Love at First Sight and the Strength of Partnership

When I met my husband, it was quite literally love at first sight. The butterflies that I didn’t believe to exist came fluttering in, I blushed for the very first time, and was completely smitten from the first smile he flashed my way. I was almost in disbelief that these things could actually really happen out in the wild.

Since then, we’ve grown to understand one another quite well, and although we have our normal marriage-induced ups and downs along the way, we have a stronger foundation than ever before. Love really can be like a fine wine if you don’t drink it all up right away.

When I push too hard one day or even one week, (this is actually one of them)…I start to notice all the little things he does that may go by the wayside when I’m too busy to recognize them. Yesterday, when I was feeling drained and had a debilitating migraine all day, he stopped to get his own dinner and saved me some mozzarella sticks. It sounds so trivial, and as a hardcore self-taught health maniac, I was like whyyy did you bring me these terrible fried things!? But then he noticed how excited I was to be chowing down on them, and I noticed how excited he was that I was excited. And those, my friends are the little moments that we need more of as humans. Becoming balanced…together.

When Life Slows You Down, Listen Closely

If your day is going sideways and you feel checked out from the moment you woke up, I hear you. I understand you and I feel you. Don’t even get me started on anxiety because that’s far from the top of the list when you completely feel disassociated with your normal being. All day felt fog-like, and as I moved through the motions of my day job, I noticed that I was flooding myself with external validation in the form of collecting more side jobs.

If this is starting to sound off-topic to you, I promise we are on the same page. Because the more the day went by and the more frustration I felt with my lack of time to complete all of the things I wanted to do, one clear reminder came back in from my mother…”you’re burning the candle at both ends.”

Now, coming from my mom that *literally* is the walking definition of such, I noticed something different about this statement. It wasn’t just a statement, but even through the phone I could hear that she deeply meant it this time. Something had sunk in that finally stopped her in her tracks, and she was doing her best to stop me from doing the same.

With a recent back injury, she went from her normal mom speed of 110mph to basically 0. While it makes me extremely happy that this provides her with new opportunities to grow her working from home job and allows her to truly start taking more time for herself, it pained me to hear how different she sounded when she said that this time. She was serious. She meant it.

Building Your Own Circle of Support

Whether your accountability partner is your spouse, mom, dad, or best friend, I suggest you invest some time into a relationship with one. Although I feel like I never have enough time for anyone or my perfect little furballs.  The truth is that I couldn’t get through my day to day life without at least one of them lending a guiding hand…or paw. 🐾

I call my father-in-law for help with side jobs in the early mornings, and I have my dad to help with scrap from those jobs and a piece of advice when I’m unsure of whether to use extra ratchet straps to hold down an old grill. (If you’re confused about what I’m talking about, feel free to hop over to HBs sister site and read about how you can start a super cool side hustle from home).   My mother-in-law supports me by keeping up with things that my father-in-law isn’t able to take on because he’s helping me instead. And I miss both of my grandmothers dearly for the good old-fashioned kind conversations we’d have that would encourage my growth.

Accountability Partner Doesn’t Have To Be Human

And guys, your accountability partner doesn’t have to be an actual person, either. It can be a dog, a cat, or another animal that’s your favorite pet. Have you ever heard the saying, “Be the person your dog thinks you are?” It’s true! If we could take away one thing from their non-human speaking selves, I’m sure it would be that we are great and we should embrace how great we actually are. Have fun more often. Worry so much less. Enjoy all of life’s little perks because as someone told me this morning about my workday, “It’ll be over before you know it.”

And isn’t that so true?

Life flashes before our eyes every second, and most of the time, we’re taking it all for granted. We pound ice cream when we’re feeling outside of ourselves. Junk food and cozy distractions like Netflix and Chill often become the go-to comforts when feeling off, replacing the harder work of choosing the gym or healthy meals. We waste hours in front of the television instead of walking through nature because that takes energy and most of the time, we just don’t have it.

Accountability Isn’t Always Human

Our battery gets drained and the bandwidth we had to start the day with diminishes quickly before we even recognize it’s gone. If you are still in search of the perfect accountability partner, I recommend starting with some apps while you’re looking. You can even ask Siri or Alexa or ChatGPT to lend you some daily advice.  You can download Mantra or Headspace to enjoy some affirmations throughout your day and meditation recommendations at night.

Whatever works best for you, just make baby steps into trying it. We don’t have to do everything on our own. And even though a lot of us prefer dark and cozy rooms over giant social gatherings, it doesn’t mean we still don’t require the comfort of a friend on the other line states away, or a warm “air hug” from your parent through a text.

Try something different today and notice more of what those do around you. You may be amazed at the little things that are done to help you get through your day, every day. We humans are an incredible species, so instead of running through your day with your head down, keep your chin up and an eye out for those little gems so that you may truly embrace them to the fullest.

Thank You For Reading “You Don’t Have To Do It All Alone: The Road To Finding Your Accountability Partner”

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Seriously. It means the world. Life’s a lot — and knowing that you’re here, walking through it too, just makes it all a bit lighter. So here’s your reminder: You don’t have to carry it all. Not today, not ever. ❤️