Hey guys and gals. I’ve been having some trouble lately with time being respected, and being told how to operate something I’ve been doing for a long time. Which prompted me to think about how to use these opportunities as growth, which of course is something we share heavily on HB.
Therefore, today we’re taking a quick pause from the last few days of the Southern Series so we can work through these issues together, which is what I love most about you being here. So thank you in advance for listening, reading, and being there in the comments with your two cents…or three. Three cents is fine as well. 🙂
When Things Start to Feel Off
Now, I don’t mean to be all Debbie Downer over here, but that’s kind of how I’m feeling today. (Sad face, I know). And it’s solely because of a few interactions recently that had me thinking about how to handle these situations that may arise again in the future.
Without going into too much of a black hole here, I’ll do my best to explain.
It took me literal years to come to an understanding with myself on how to navigate these challenges when they present themselves. I had to figure out whether or not I was willing to move forward in working with others or on myself before figuring out what made the most sense in what order.
Now, since we can’t typically change other people as easily as we’re able to work on our own self-growth, I think it’s obvious the route that needed to be taken.
I sat down and wondered what I would need to do to become more personable, without becoming more cold toward others in the meantime. I needed to grow in ways I hadn’t yet, including those of dealing with friends, family, or business acquaintances. Typically, there’s a fine line between understanding how much to communicate, and then of course, over-communicating. (Which from what I have noticed, a lot of peeps these days do).
And I think that’s where I’ve been getting tripped up lately.
The Line Between Respect and Over-Accommodation
Because on one hand, you want to be respectful, communicative, and easy to work with. You want people to feel heard, understood, and valued.
But on the other hand, there comes a point where over-explaining, over-adjusting, or constantly bending your time and energy to fit someone else’s expectations starts to take away from your own structure, your own focus, and honestly…your own peace.
And that’s where I had to pause.
Because if I’m being completely honest, it wasn’t just about someone else “not respecting my time.” It was also about me allowing that line to blur in the first place.
The Reality Check
We can say all day long that people should respect our time, our boundaries, and our way of doing things. But if we don’t actually set those boundaries clearly, or we constantly adjust them to keep the peace, then we’re unintentionally teaching people what we will tolerate.
And that’s a hard pill to swallow.
Because it means taking some responsibility for the situations we find ourselves in, even when we didn’t create them intentionally.
I had to ask myself:
- Did I clearly communicate my expectations?
- Did I allow too much flexibility early on?
- Did I try to avoid discomfort instead of addressing things head-on?
And the answer, at least partially, was yes.
Why Staying True To Natural Intentions Can Allow Room For Personal Growth
Finding the Balance
Something I’ve always tried to focus on with Habitual Balance is growth without losing yourself in the process. It’s easy to swing too far in either direction.
Ways You Can Be Impacted Without Proper Boundaries:
- Either you become overly accommodating and end up drained
- Or you shut down and become distant just to protect your energy
But the real goal is somewhere in the middle.
What Having Real Boundaries Can Help Do:
- Communicating clearly, but not excessively
- Respecting others, but not at the expense of myself
- Being open to feedback, but not controlled by it
Because not every opinion needs to be absorbed, and not every suggestion needs to be implemented.
And that’s something I’m still actively learning.
What I’m Doing Differently
Instead of letting these situations frustrate me, I’m choosing to use them as checkpoints.
Not in a “what did they do wrong” kind of way, but more of a:
“What can I refine here so this doesn’t keep happening?”
A few things I’m focusing on:
Being clear from the start
Not leaving room for assumptions. Saying what I mean, how I operate, and what works for me upfront.
Not over-explaining myself
There’s a difference between being communicative and feeling like you need to justify every decision you make. I’m working on trusting that my way of doing things is valid without needing to defend it constantly.
Respecting my own time first
Because if I don’t treat my time as valuable, I can’t expect anyone else to either.
Letting discomfort exist
Not every conversation is going to feel easy, and that’s okay. Growth usually sits right on the edge of discomfort.
The Bigger Picture
At the end of the day, situations like this are going to happen. Whether it’s in business, friendships, or everyday life, there will always be moments where expectations don’t align.
But instead of letting that turn into frustration or resentment, I’m trying to look at it as feedback.
Not feedback about who I am as a person, but feedback on where I can tighten things up, communicate better, and stand a little more firmly in what I know works for me.
Because that’s what this whole thing is about. Not perfection. Not control. But building systems and habits that allow us to move through life a little more grounded, a little more aware, and a little more in control of our own energy.
Learning to Live Life on My Own Timeline
Moving Forward
If you’ve been feeling something similar lately, whether it’s your time not being respected, your boundaries being pushed, or just feeling stretched a little thinner than you’d like, you’re not alone.
Take a second to pause, reflect, and ask yourself where you might need to adjust—not to please others, but to better support yourself.
Because at the end of the day, you’re the one living your life, managing your time, and carrying your energy through it all.
And that deserves to be protected. 🫶
