When Push Comes To Shove, Remember To Not Compare
Last night I had a breakdown. It was small but it was mighty enough to kick me into gear again. I’m always wondering where life will go from here, and looking for ways to broaden my horizons in any way possible. Upon leaving the grocery store yesterday though, my mind went into straight spiral mode when I realized that my entire day consisted of un-fun, un-relaxing tasks. My mood darkened, my energy from the day shrunk, and the long list of things I haven’t yet accomplished started creeping in to remind me just how much I suck. If this sounds familiar, trust me, you aren’t alone. Find the Time to Vent I heavily considered getting up to write this post at midnight last night when my mind was racing with those defeating thoughts. Being a blogger about finding balance however, well, that wouldn’t make much sense, would it? So, I tried my best to snuggle back into my covers and call it a night. Yesterday wasn’t full of heartache or agony or hard times. It didn’t have much of a bad moment in it to be honest. But little by little, the spiral began, leading me into straight up angry tears by the time I got home. The icing on the cake? My favorite pair of shoes chewed just enough past the point of repair by my oh so cute pitty. I went outside to pout. Yes, pout. I sat for nearly 30 minutes before my husband came out to make sure I was okay. He knew I was having a moment and is always so great about reading it and giving me my space. (Something I definitely need to work on). How are you doing with that? As I sat there, I wondered what set off the tears, the frustration, and reflected on how I managed to get into such a crappy mood after having a relatively good day at work. You see, this would be the time I used to reach for a drink. Frustration, be gone! Although I’m no longer living that life, so in my sobriety, I sat there wondering if I could find the reason why this all came to be. Taking it one step at a time from the end, I realized the shoe had been my breaking point. Why? Because (and here goes the overthinking brain…3 cheers to those of you who can feel this pain!), …because if I had only been home more to be with my dogs and take them on walks and care for them fully during the day they would have less anxiety while we were gone or have the desire to destroy our shoes. I would have the time I needed to practice self-care to the maximum, create the lifestyle I so long for, and finish my hobbies and projects around the home. I would have time to dedicate to creating healthy meals for my family, drive to get proper groceries instead of relying on others to choose for me via Instacart, and come home to a less cluttered home since I would have all the time I needed. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. I was at this point in my life once, where I had all the time in the world…but something was missing. Maybe it was this blog? It brings me pure joy to write and release these feelings with others who understand how I am. It creates happiness to know that I may someday be able to let another know that they’re not by themselves and that we all have feelings of doubt in our lives. As much as we try to work out the “what-ifs,” they’re still there, deep down. Related: Overcoming Negativity On The Scale: How I’m Learning To Be Okay With My Body Be in the Now, Don’t Compare I raised an imaginary glass after my pouting session to engaging with my inner self. After much reflection and understanding of how I got there, I was proud of myself for not reaching for a drink or creating an unnecessary argument with my spouse. And then, I realized how much I was comparing what I wanted years ago to what I want now. Back then, something was missing. I’ve fulfilled that since. Now, I crave more time, only because time is more prevalent to me as age creeps upon me. Something of course I didn’t feel in my early twenties or teens. As I grow both physically and mentally, it occurs to me that I have not lost this game, I have not created an unmeaningful life, it simply is a different life than that of which I wanted as my past self. Now, I am able to learn and grow from what I’ve accomplished and failed in, as opposed to being angry with myself for not trying new things. Once we move past the need to compare ourselves to others, I think we start to compare ourselves to well, us. And in my opinion, this can be an even bigger beast to tame as we tend to compare ourselves so harshly instead of recognizing what we’ve had the opportunity to engage with over the years and overcome. Why can’t we accept that change is going to happen? That as we grow we will develop new ideas or goals in life? Why is it more acceptable to look backward in regret as opposed to looking back on how well we’ve done? Here are a few ways I’m going to practice comparing myself less in the future. Wanna join me? Continue to practice patience. Go sit with yourself and turn your phone off, (I turn mine upside down sometimes and this is also helpful!) Enjoy just being present with your thoughts. And if those thoughts are awesome ideas, make sure you write them down. Begin to look around you more. Write down things that you’ve accomplished and keep track of your progress.
How Traveling and Adventure Changed My Attitude Toward Life
Today marks the 33rd year of my life. It’s definitely had its ups and downs over those decades but you know what? Every single one of them was worth it. I have grown into what I truly feel is the best version of myself so far, and I feel more and more confident every day in the choices I’ve made to get myself here. Where are you at on this journey of life? Have you felt the subtle shift in your levels of consistency, confidence or balance? Let’s talk about those. Growing Through Travel Not only do we need to represent more of our truest selves, but we need to focus more heavily on the balance part. That’s where this blog came from, anyway. The need to balance more of well, everything. The need to do less, not more. The want to have it all, while working less. It’s a common want, isn’t it? Something that I chalk a ton of credit up to in the past year alone is travel. Travel has become such a larger part of my life than I ever thought it would. It’s changed me in so many ways. You really start to realize how small you are in this large world when you begin embracing the beautiful nature and animals and landscapes around you. Even learning how to connect with others in similar mindsets on these travels can show you how much you’re not alone and how many needs you have that can be validated by others seeking the same thing. Finding myself has been something else. It’s not an easy task and it takes a LOT of constant work. Taking care of your body and mind is basically a full time job if you’re working towards doing it “properly.” And, while there really is no “proper” way of doing so, we can get on the right track now and then. As we make small changes each and every day, as we listen more to our inner voices and less to the noise of the busy world, we begin to notice how much of a difference those small changes can make over time. For me, those small changes led to getting off my couch and getting into nature. It started with a few walks around a local park, then trail running, then hiking, then camping, then backpacking, then soaring across ridgelines with the love of my life taking in full 360 degree landscapes of mountains and oceans and pine trees and condors flying beside me instead of above me. I try to be as honest as I am able to when I write these posts. And honestly, I’m basically crying right now. Related: Dealing With Change: An Uncomfortable Shift In Mindset And A Lesson Learned Connecting as a Fellow Human I’ve found myself doing that a lot lately. Finally finding myself in tears of joy, gratitude, happiness, pure blissful enjoyment of the world and life I’ve created around me. I used to laugh at people that would feel this way. Invalidating their joy because I was unhappy with my own circumstance. Now, I look at others and try to listen more, try to understand their involvement with this world and how they’re enjoying themselves differently. I no longer resort to judgement, but relaxing and simply absorbing their stories. How else are we to learn as humans but to completely melt into others words? This is connection on another level. It’s connecting as a fellow human being, not just an ear to bend. I want more of this, and I highly encourage you to start making moves to do the same. It is a beautiful feeling. Related: What Are Your Pillars? Mental, Physical, Emotional Health Foundations As we move forward on this blog, Habitual Balance will begin to include more posts regarding travel, backpacking, cooking, and how we manage all of those on the go. I want to introduce you to these ahead of time so that you know where HB’s future lies. It will continue to be all about this journey we’re all on, and how we can do better along the way, but travel is something near and dear to me and I encourage everyone to do so much more of it. Why do we limit ourselves on this short-term life? We only have so much time to go out there and see the world, so why not work on adding it into our lives more often? The hubs and I have come a long way in our travel goals over the past 12 years. We’ve experienced a multitude of different kinds of destinations, but at this time, we’re looking to more adventure and less sitting around. (Don’t get me wrong, we still sit for 2 days after hard hiking trips before heading home!) However, I want to share with you that we’ve just booked our very first beach campground….in Kauai. I can’t wait to discuss this new experience with you. It will be one that I’m certain will be unforgettable. Until then, please stay tuned to hear more about some tips and tricks I would like to share with you about past adventures into the Grand Canyon, Angel’s Landing in Zion, Seneca Rocks, Sedona, and more. Thank you as always for sticking around and supporting Habitual Balance. As I continue to grow, I’m grateful to grow with you all that are within the same realm and want others to feel comfortable in diving in as well. Let’s make that happen, one human being at a time.
Overcoming Negativity On The Scale: How I’m Learning To Be Okay With My Body
A while ago, more specifically last Fall (2023), my doctor told me I’d need to lose 15-18 pounds to reverse my fatty liver and get back on track with my health. Mind you, I am a (beginner level) mountain climbing, BJJ lady that hikes 10 miles for fun on a regular basis. I eat well most of the time (or so I kept telling myself), and I frequent the gym several days a week. Which leads me to believe that A LOT of us humans out there have health issues we’d never know existed if it wasn’t for accidentally finding out. How scary is that? I have put in a ton of work on myself since then, but I’ve only dropped 7-9 pounds. Since I’ve been hovering around the same weight for a few months now, I did an experiment this week. Let me tell you about it. My Experiment For awhile I thought, there has got to be an easier way. How do the girls on Instagram and YouTube do so well? How do they ALWAYS look good and never have to worry about their weight fluctuating through daily life, let alone during hormone spikes, pregnancies, postpartum, and difficult times. …And then I remember that I’m just seeing what they want me to see. I’m here on this blog to be real with you. To be real with myself. I’m telling you flat out how I feel about everything in this universe not only so that you can know it’s not just you, but also to hold myself accountable. I’m not here to spend time highlighting the good and casting a shadow on the bad. I’m here to talk. So, let’s talk. Before my most recent trip out west, I did great with eating habits and exercise. (My version of great, of course. Remember to try not to compare yourself to others, as long as you’re one step ahead of yourself from yesterday, you are growing). I had cut out Red Bulls, (seriously, I’ve tried EVERY other brand. I hate them all.), I increased my protein, ate more salads and spent time consistently in the gym. In my opinion, a barrier was crossed. I had finally made it to the mindset of “I’ve got this.” When we returned, I was a little surprised but pleased to find out that my weight had stayed exactly the same. Even though we did a ton of hiking and activity, I still made sure to eat mindfully and space out my treats. (I may have had an occasional Red Bull and some skittles! Moderation, friends!) So, this past week, I ran an experiment. I indulged in what I was craving and didn’t hold back. I wanted to see just how quickly that weight could go back on. And I was grossly underestimating how fast it could happen. Related: Utilizing Garden Veggies To Save Money While Meal Prepping What I Learned and What My Body Told Me Monday, I had a cheesesteak. Half for lunch and half for dinner. I had soda multiple times throughout the week, a few energy drinks and an ice cream cone. I relished in having pizza for many meals, and focused less on balance and more what my body was saying it wanted instead of listening to my mind. I’ve averaged the same weight for around 3 months. In just 5 days, I gained SIX pounds back. Yes, 6. My mind was blown. I didn’t feel like I looked any different in the mirror, but I did feel significantly more fatigued and lethargic. And those feelings came BEFORE I weighed myself this morning. The whole reason I’m going through these points with you today is to say that I’m going to start focusing more on what my mind and body needs to stay healthy and less on indulging in whatever is easy. It’s easy to order pizza every night. It’s easy to swipe through the dinner options on DoorDash. But it’s hard to plan and shop and meal prep healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners every week. It’s hard to keep up with finding healthy alternatives to your favorite snacks or recipes that don’t actually suck with newly found ingredients. Finding those alternatives have taken me literal years. One by one I’ve begun to replace my favorite meals and snacks with healthier options and more and more I began to realize that if I hadn’t started doing that when I did, that I may be having an even harder time losing the necessary weight. Why are the options so hard to find? Sure, there are a ton of replacement items stocking the shelves and coolers these days as opposed to 10 or even just 5 years ago. The hard thing for me though is that only a small percentage of those things have any flavor or nutrition to them. Learning nutrition and how to properly and mindfully indulge is still to this day something I struggle with. So, moving forward, I’m going to return to thinking before I eat and start accepting that this weight is okay. It’s my new normal. I have plans for change though and I want to bring you with me through that change. 5 Snack Ideas and 5 Exercise Options to Help You Be More Comfortable With Your Body Have you ever heard of “body recomposition?” This is when you focus more on a tape measure and less on a scale to provide proof of your efforts making the cut. Body recomposition focuses on implementing more strength training and less on counting calories. When I say this body is “my new normal,” I don’t mean I’m giving up on my goals. I’m simply readjusting how I focus on them, so that I can lean into a healthier mindset and eating habits. Even though I feel that I use the 80/20 rule effectively, there is always room for improvement. I want to begin emphasizing more on protein intake and less on removing certain foods. Although
Dealing With Change: An Uncomfortable Shift In Mindset And A Lesson Learned
I was standing in a beautiful stone built shower this evening with clean, hot water running over me. As I washed my hair with what some may call bougie shampoo, a question popped into my head. Why is it so hard to believe that I may have just changed? What is the real problem with dealing with change, anyway? Why does it feel so weird and why can’t we accept that it is a normal, part of self-growth…part of life. I Forgot I Could Change We backpacked through the backcountry for 3 days this week. We experienced outdoor showers, more than one secret oasis, howling coyotes on the hunt and a random horse pass our tent. We trudged through more than 30 miles of hiking, including up the tallest mountain in the state as well as the wilderness, the desert, the tundra, the forest, and a canyon. We viewed sunrise after sunset at some of the most stunning places we’ve ever been together, including great meals and many memorable moments together. We enjoyed talking, walking and even silence during hiking struggles. So, why is it that today, when the first thing went wrong, that my overthinking brain hit the roof? I wasn’t seeing clearly earlier, but since that refreshing hot shower, I’m a little more understanding. You see, I forgot that I could change. I forgot that it’s okay to adjust what you do as you get older, or how you approach new situations, or even situations that you previously were in. It’s okay to feel the hurt when something doesn’t go your way, we are allowed to have feelings when things just plain suck sometimes. But at the end of the day, we have to realize one thing. That thing is that dealing with change is always going to be present in our world, change is always going to happen whether we’re ready for it or not. The thing that hits hardest however, is how you handle the change that comes your way. What change have you encountered lately? Related: What Are Your Pillars? Mental, Physical, Emotional Health Foundations Dealing With Changing Situations and How I React to Them It’s becoming more and more clear to me when I need to adjust my mindset. I often even realize it now in the middle of an actual conversation, where I’ll start to work on self-talk inside my own thoughts. It doesn’t always help right away, but reflecting on it throughout the day is where I find the most progress. Sometimes I’ll talk to my partner about it. Sometimes I’ll put away my screens and just sit to reflect while working on breath work. Other times, I’ll talk to you. As much as I’m hopeful these posts will enlighten another in the world to their potential and understanding of self, it helps me just as much to be able to use this canvas to paint new perspectives on how to adjust my way of thinking or being to better fit into tomorrow. Focusing on the good in our lives is often so much more difficult than focusing on the negative. If I had to keep a tally for this trip, the positive moments would far outweigh the negative ones. Yet, when someone asks me how it went, you know the first thing that will come to mind might just be this one negative one. Why is that? Why does our brain trick us into thinking that those moments are more important to highlight? Human beings like drama, and drama is memorable. My goal this year is to focus on becoming more aware of how I react in changing situations, such as when I was conflicted earlier about whether or not to get another campsite, or a tiny home. After MUCH back and forth contemplation, I decided I was in love with neither and that I should look some more. (All the while missing out on beautiful landscapes passing me by). Low and behold, I found another airbnb that was perfect. We decided to upgrade for the evening and clicked “book.” Changing Rooms and Changing Attitude When we got to the place, there was clearly issues allover. There was soot everywhere from an apparent fire from the person before us, broken things nearly all the places we checked, and just bad vibes throughout the room. The maintenance was kind enough to relocate us to an even more beautiful room, although I was initially upset since that was my perfect aesthetic carefully chosen place. I complained to my husband about the new one, how it was so different and how the patio view wasn’t as nice. I complained about the slowly draining jet tub that I’d longed for after those miles of hikes. I spent so much time complaining that I forgot to look outside and remind myself how magnificent of a place I was already blessed to be in… In that shower, I realized that I was complaining about things that I was taking for granted. Things that I’d grown accustomed to in our travels and things that I was craving so much after missing them for days, that when the slightest thing went wrong, I’d gotten angry, annoyed, even ignorant to my surroundings. Dealing with change is so difficult sometimes. Especially as an adult. We get so used to doing things one way for so long, or being used to how we did things as kids and teenagers, that when that adult life hits us, we expect to continue on with those feelings. I realized that since I’d loved camping so much as a child, that of course I must love it just as much now. And I do. But my back, my joints, my body, the cold, the up at night to walk 100 feet to a half-working bathroom (if there even was one), the constant reminder I was nearly alone in the wilderness, those were things I was not used to. Those things I needed a break
Embracing Vulnerability : The Art of Slowing Down and Seizing New Experiences
How often do you get the chance to try out new experiences? How many days of the year would you say you are able to put on your big girl pants and step out into the unknown? How many seconds of each day are you able to grasp without rushing and just breathe in the surroundings one moment at a time? My guess is not very often. If you’re like many of us humans, you’re always rushing to the next appointment, meeting or grocery store to mindlessly choose your next meal that you won’t even get to enjoy because you’ll rush through that too. I wanted to revisit the topic of slowing down today. I want to stop focusing on things we “shouldn’t” or “can’t” and start believing more in what we “could” or “can.” Finding Strength in Vulnerability I love a good book. What are some of your favorites? Recently, I’ve been reading Feel The Fear…And Do It Anyway. I’m sure you can see how it’s reflected in these recent writings. But that’s what this blog is about, after all. My learnings and findings and understanding of what in the world we’re going through as humans and to share that with you, my friend. This trip away from the world has given me ample opportunities to become more vulnerable with my partner and with myself as well. (We talked about that a lot more in the last post if you’d like to check it out). Oftentimes we will suppress those feelings of fear, of doubt, of anxiety to impress or prove to others around us that we are more brave or fearless than we actually are. I wanted to let you know that being afraid of something is okay. It is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay to look at the world with question and ask others their opinions or understanding of it all. They’d probably be happy you asked, because they are probably feeling that same thing. So, why not be the one to begin the conversation? Because I’ve “felt the fear and did it anyway,” on this trip, (within reason, of course), I’ve gotten to paddle board for the first time with my husband. Not only paddle boarding, but to a tiny oasis below our campsite that had a massive ancient cave with a secret beach inside of it. I’ve gotten to feel more comfortable in my own skin talking to him about how important it is to need support through this new vulnerability and to be able to learn from him as well. You see, we need others to feel validated. We do not need to do every single thing on our own in this life. We need to be independent when those times arise, but we also need to feel at ease leaning on others when it is necessary. If I didn’t have the support of my incredible other half, I may have taken months or even years longer to start down this path of true freedom from fear, anxiety and doubt. Lean into your support, you don’t have to shy away from it. Your person doesn’t have to be your spouse. It can be a friend, a parent, a loved one, a teacher, a therapist, whatever you feel comfortable with. It can even be yourself in the mirror if you’d prefer to keep things private and focus on self-talk. The choice is yours of where to begin, but don’t delay. The time, energy and awareness I’ve felt through being more vulnerable and becoming more comfortable and confident has completely changed my outlook on this life. I’ve become more aware of my surroundings and more in awe by Mother Nature and more obsessed with learning and becoming my higher self. I want you to have those feelings, too. Related: Shining Light on Stress and Mental Health Barriers: Lessons Learned From the Solar Eclipse Letting Go and Living Fully We can do amazing things. We can conquer anything that we want. It’s always been within reach, we are just too afraid to let go of what we feel comfortable with. We feel the fear and back away, we say we “can’t,” or that we “shouldn’t” because we are to concerned of the outcome instead of just enjoying the ride. My goal is to always become better at “going with the flow.” It’s something I’ve been actively working on for years. Seeing what happens instead of wondering and questioning “what if” has given me so many more days of bliss and happiness, so many less days of anger and frustration and lashing out at others. It’s been amazing. I promise it’s better on the other side. A lot of us use an escape to mask these feelings though. Escapes such as over-exercising (without knowledge of how to properly do so), such as coping with our “hard days” by drinking or another form of addiction. These escapes only highlight those feelings of doubt…they only increase your “stuck” feelings instead of letting them go. I used to feel that way. I used to mask my fear and doubt with alcohol. I used to drink when I felt uncomfortable and make sure it was always there, “just in case,”…almost like a security blanket. That’s madness. This spring I stopped using alcohol as a coping mechanism and started using my own courage to begin putting myself in these uncomfortable situations. I stopped worrying about bringing it on vacations and stopped ordering it every time we go out to eat. I stopped treating it like a normal thing and started looking at it for what it is, poison to my mind and body. (I want to remind the reader really quick that this is purely my own experience. This does not mean I am an expert in this field, only that I want to share my own learned knowledge and understanding of what it means to me and why I’ve changed the course. Please keep that in mind while continuing on,
Reclaiming My Life: The Fight Against Anxiety Part 1
Hey guys. We have talked a lot about self-growth on this blog, but I wanted to share with you a little more about my more recent vulnerabilities that I’ve been experiencing. As a human, we all have our flaws. We all have comfort zones and levels to push past on a daily and regular basis. As I sit here with you tonight, I admit that I indulged in some stress gummies to calm my nerves as the later the night goes on, the more my anxiety gets the best of me. These comfort zones come in all forms and start on many levels, so let’s talk about those this evening as I work on some of my own. Shall we? As the Stars Shine, Darkness of Anxiety Sets In As children, we usually feel invincible, we do things without thinking about the consequences, we push past limits on a regular basis without even realizing it, and we typically need help less and less as we grow up. Some of us on the other hand, (like myself), am overthinking every single thing about my current situation because well, my brain has went from relax mode to high alert because it is now completely dark outside and I’m outside of the limits of where we usually stay on vacations. Tonight, we are 5 nights into our trip and staying at a beautiful, secluded off-grid cabin. In the daytime, its views are unmatched. The sands flow around you while the desert vegetation blows gently in the wind. The landscape is so picturesque it feels like you’re in a painting or a postcard. We had dehydrated chicken Alfredo for dinner with sparkling water and cookies that we brought in for dessert. We watched the sunset together and read outside before it concluded. It’s been an amazing evening. But here we are, less than 1 hour into the darkness and I’m having a mini panic attack every time my husband asks if we can go outside soon to view the incredible dark sky with stars all around. …Why does this happen? Does it happen to all of us? Do we have a shut off switch to turn off the panic mode and keep it locked in relaxation? Where do you fall on this scale of anxiety, this fear of the unknown? What is your comfort zone? Related: Breaking Through The Pressure Of Society’s Expectations The Weight of Anxiety as a Child and as an Adult A long time ago when I was a child it was the same. I remember always needing someone to help me when things got just a little scary and I just don’t know why. It’s aggravating now as an adult to think back and wonder why I couldn’t just “grow up.” You see, we all face different challenges in life. We all handle them differently and we all adapt to them as we age. It’s where we’re willing to go to shut down that fear, that anxiety, that unnecessary stress. It’s how far and how hard we want to move past these bothersome challenges that tie us to an anchor of uncomfortable condemnation. Before we even left the airport, before we even checked into our stays, I felt the anxiety creeping in. I continued to push it down deep…but I also am trying something new this time around. I’m trying to intentionally put myself in these uncomfortable situations. Crazy, right? I used to think so, too. Nowadays, I think more clearly about my current standing with fear and with suppressing that angst. Nowadays, I want to push through the damn thing. Because frankly, I’m just plain old tired of feeling this way. Related: Shining Light on Stress and Mental Health Barriers: Lessons Learned From the Solar Eclipse Taking the First Step Against Anxiety What have you done lately that has been uncomfortable? When have you felt like you have intentionally challenged yourself in this life? Most often, we dislike being uncomfy, so we just continue on throughout our day, doing the usual thing over and over and living a (in my opinion), more mundane, boring lifestyle. As the kids say today, (I don’t actually know, because I’m not a kid anymore, boo to that), you only live once. …or not, who actually knows? I’ve decided in these last few years that I want to stop pretending I’m fearless, even though I live in fear in certain situations. I want to start being more of myself around my loved ones, showing my true feelings even when they show my weakness, and start putting myself in places, situations and opportunities that make me move through those feelings. Basically, I want to start feeling totally and completely, free. To be free is to be alive, to be alive is to feel everything, to feel everything is to be okay with becoming more vulnerable. I’m starting to learn that I can handle that better than I’d thought. Try one thing this week to show a loved one that you are uncomfortable, talk to them and hear what their opinions are on how you can move through whatever it is that’s been bothering you. I know you can do this. I know you have it in you to handle whatever vulnerability lies in your way of becoming your most comfortable you. You just need to take the first step. Thank You for Reading Today’s Fight Against Anxiety I want to thank all my readers and supporters who have traveled with me on my journey so far including today’s post about fighting against anxiety. If you need help with your fight with anxiety, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has some great resources. Have you had to fight anxiety in your life? Want more tips? Let us know.
Learning To Walk Through Struggle: Realizing My Journey Is My Own
Hey friends. I’m writing to you today from the beautiful state of Arizona. There are countless miles in front of me of flat land accompanied by serene mountains and plateaus in the far spaces. Today I faced one of the most challenging hikes of my life. It made me realize that no matter how much you prepare for something, it can still hit you like a ton of bricks and the only way out of the situation is to go straight through it. Hiking: A Journey of Growth This morning, my husband and I left our AirBnB tiny home to embark on a hike we’ve been looking forward to for years. After passing Humprey’s Peak endless times, we finally made a point to book something near it so that we quite frankly couldn’t pass it up again. Humphrey’s Peak is the highest point in Arizona, an ancient volcano with wilderness all over and lava rock strewn across the highest points. It’s an incredible trek, which I highly recommend if you ever get the chance. Right now in the evening, the skies are a pretty purple, blue, pink and orange fading into one another. It’s breathtaking. But this morning, it was chilly, cloudy, and cold. (If you do decide to do this hike, be sure to layer! We passed so many people in shorts and tank tops. The top was frigid and had winds so strong we nearly fell over). The start of the hike was a telltale sign of how the rest of the trek would go. It was straight uphill, unforgiving, and motivating all at the same time. I couldn’t wait to get to the top. By about halfway through, I was seriously struggling. For some reason I always crave grape bubblegum about this time, so I made sure to arm myself with some! This helped for a little while to keep my mind from hating the uphill, but eventually the annoyance returned. Hiking is something that is a personal journey. I learned this more than anything today. Let me explain how. –Habitual Growth: Looking Back And Moving Forward Facing Challenges in Hiking and in Life Once we passed a bunch of people (it’s surprisingly a busy trail!), we continued on to the top. I got increasingly annoyed as my husband so often treks ahead of me. Not often out of sight, just enough that I know I need to pick up the pace! To succeed, you have to struggle. In my opinion, this can be applied in so many areas of our lives. We as humans constantly look for a way out of difficult situations, quit early and make excuses, or say we’ll come back and try again. Why? I can’t give you the correct answer on this, as I believe it’s a personal journey that we all have to face. Sometimes, we decide to turn around. Other times, we push through. What have you done lately that you’ve needed to make a decision to push through? I’m clumsy. I always have been. I’ve done a little better in my adult life, but anytime I’m near a cliff edge, well, that shit gets sketchy. You need to be on high alert, knowing that any wrong move can send you spiraling downward into the jagged rocks and tall trees. Therefore, I often have to stop to see the sights separately, since I literally have to use all of my focus on the ground in front of me to ensure I don’t misstep. As we got closer to the top, all I could think about was the revolving thoughts going on inside my head. “Am I going to make it? I don’t think I can do this, I’m going to need to turn around…” Luckily, I am blessed with a supportive partner, and most of the time during hikes, he encourages me to keep going, tells me I’m doing great and pushes me to make it to the finish line. It’s not that he was doing less of this on purpose today, but more that he was on his own personal journey…and I didn’t even see that since I was too worried about my own. Oftentimes we can rely too heavily on the support around us, which in turn forces us to make decisions less and think on our own when the going gets rough. This is what happened today. Navigating Hardships: Finding Strength in Slowing Down Struggle is Real, On This Hike, In This Life Why is it easier to lash out onto others when we are in distress? Why is it that when we get uncomfortable as humans that we feel the need to act in a way that we typically wouldn’t if we weren’t struggling. The struggle is real. This is real. Life is real and the struggle is constantly within it. Without struggle we wouldn’t grow, without struggle we cannot form into a better version of ourselves, without struggle and failure and hardship, we cannot become stronger and more adapted to situations in which we need to be. Struggle is always present, in some way, shape or form. Its learning curve is a mystery to me but I thank the heavens for it on a regular basis as it’s helped to mold me into who I am today. I believe I have several areas of improvement to work on in this lifetime, but I am finally beginning to become more comfortable and confident in my abilities to do so. Through tough times and learning opportunities like today, I’ve realized that it takes situations like these to understand others better, or when it’s time to go inward and work on myself just a little more. — This week friend, I want you to do the same. I want you to go inward and realize 3 things that you could improve upon this week. These changes may not happen quickly, but jot them down and repeat them to yourself daily. Each
Learning to Gain Freedom in The Mind, Body, And Spirit
Lately we talked about letting go of the chaos in our lives. Have you made any changes since then? Today I’d like to talk a little about the ones I’ve made so far, and how they’ve since affected my overall well-being. I’m sleeping better, I have *slightly* less anxiety, and my home is becoming less stressed. If you haven’t so far, what changes could you make in the next week to see a better outcome in the next month? Let’s talk about it. Quest for Balance When we as humans feel unstoppable, it’s a great feeling. It’s also a feeling that can eventually cause us to hit a wall, since the fact is, that we are only human. It’s hard to face this reality at times, especially in the 2020s. Everything moves quickly, life is so fast-paced every second of every day. And if you’re lucky, the angst hasn’t hit you yet. The world keeps turning even if we do catch the bug, but learning how to then manage it throughout our day to day can be another monster. Finding that balance in all that we do is the hardest task I’ve faced yet as an adult, and my goal in this blog is to help at least one more person through it. We make changes, we live with them. Then we make more changes, and we live with those. We tidy, clean up, fix our broken homes and broken souls, only to be met with yet another challenge at the finish line. It’s endless. But I’m here for you. Finding balance is something we’re told by therapists, healers, self-care books and talk show hosts. It’s no secret anymore that self-care is to be prioritized over all else. The more we consume however, the less we remember to embrace the life that’s unfolding before us. We get so sucked in by their verbiage, their excellent branding, celebrities showing us “how to” live a life that’s full, while they don’t even have a full life themselves. What even is a full life? What does that mean to you?? Related: Lost and Found: Finding Yourself and Gaining Clarity In Life Freedom is the Answer Long ago I thought it meant having more freedom. Freedom to gain more things, more knowledge and more access to things I couldn’t reach. At nearly 33 years young, I’m beginning to realize that I had been partially right in my youth. Freedom is the answer. Freedom is the thing to strive for. Being emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, and completely free. That is now what my goal in this life is. Becoming free. Isn’t that something we’ve always strived for as humans? Trigger warning, we’re going to get deep here and talk about something that may jump into topics of uncomfortableness. Whatever race we are, gender, ethnicity or country we’re from, we’ve all strived to become free of reigns from another person, place, company or country has given us. We have gone so far as to fight wars for it. So many as 260 major wars in the world alone since WW1. That’s mind-blowing. How many of those did you know of? We fought for freedom is many different ways. Wherever you are in the world right now, you probably know of one going on not too far away. Today, in September of 2024, we have a different freedom to chase however. The freedom to change our outlook on life, to live life to the fullest, to embrace pure happiness and fulfillment in our days. But how does one accomplish such a task? The Myth of Freedom Freedom from ourselves is the necessary evil. As children, we are malleable. We twist and turn with every new experience, allowing those experiences to shape our lives. We become molded by the world around us, by our community, our peers, our loved ones. Those things all become us. They show us “how to” be in the world. “How to” live a happy life. How to “gain freedom.” Therefore, by the time we are grown into adults, life becomes a blur. A blur of who we are “supposed to be,” how we are “supposed to act,” when we are “supposed to hold our tongue or act out.” We cannot grasp when we are locked in our own chambers because we are so entwined by all the rules of the world that we’re too busy to even notice. Once we break free of these invisible chains, we are able to let go. Once we have begun finding our truest selves, only then can we become who we were actually meant to be in this life. We can then form our own plans, thoughts, and opinions. We can then put these plans into place and begin to start acting the way we feel most comfortable, instead of being told what comfortable is supposed to look like. Recently, I’ve begun this journey, and I’m taking you along for the ride. Related: Understanding The Meaning Of Life & Letting Go Of The Chaos Want True Freedom? Be a Dog My journey today looks something like this. I try a little more each day to embrace Mother Nature. I try a little more each day to take just a few moments of self-care between working and spending time on my relationship. After all, you cannot be in a thriving relationship with someone else, if you have never dealt with the relationship problems within yourself. I work on keeping less things, less clutter in my home. I find more time to just jump around with my dogs even if it’s just for 3 minutes a day. Dogs are so happy to be alive. They are just pure bliss. Have you ever just started jumping around your dog? They will match your energy in a heartbeat. They are simple creatures that just enjoy every moment that they can get. We should start learning to take something away from those experiences. They nap a lot too. Something I’m also trying to
Understanding The Meaning Of Life & Letting Go Of The Chaos
Hello friends. I’m sure that none of us really know the true meaning to life, but this is my current take on it. Take it, leave it, or provide some context of your own in the comment section. Whatever journey it is that you’re on, let’s travel that road together and realize that it was created uniquely for each one of us, after all. Let’s take a look at what life and should be while coping with chaos. Navigating Your Own Chaos I’ve been dealing with a lot of chaos lately. I keep thinking someday it’ll just stop coming on, but then it creeps back in when I least need it to. This is pretty common in 2024, with anxiety and stress-related diseases on the rise. But, how do we control the chaos so that we can become healthier individuals? How do we cope with the constant angst that’s around us? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. How to prevent it, how to navigate through it, and how to overcome it once and for all. What does chaos look like to you? To me, chaos is clutter. Chaos is the messy room I’ve been meaning to get to for an eternity. Chaos is the dishes piling up or laundry overflowing or litter needing changed. It comes in the form of dust bunnies and streaks on the mirror and no zen in my home. It forms into a huge bubble of chaos instead of calmness and I’ve just simply had enough of it. The hardest thing to cope with though, is how to create a lifestyle of chaos-free balance. How do we get to the point of no return (meaning to me, no chaos longer present). Should we clean more? Should we dedicate even more of this precious life tidying up and ticking off to-dos? I used to be extremely one-sided on this idea. Yes, I thought, I need to always be working on having a clean home, a tidy living area, a zen feeling about my abode. You know that one house you always went to growing up that just exuded good vibes and near to no negativity. It had clean carpets and smelly-good aromas floating about the place. It embodied a clean, comfortable, consistently beautiful living space. I wanted that. I still want that. Related: Reigniting The Feeling: Visiting Your Previous Self & Understanding What’s Changed Reality Checks Can be Messy Many moons ago when I was just a kid, I told myself I didn’t really care much about tidying up. Cleaning was no fun and fun was all I wanted to embark upon. As a teen and young adult, I felt exactly the same. It wasn’t until I started a serious relationship that I really wanted to prove to myself that I was an adult, and therefore could aptly obtain a well-manicured home. I was wrong. All I’ve done since then was create more stress, more anxiety, and alas, more chaos. Imagine that. I don’t know what it is when you become a spouse that you have this feeling of “I need to get my shit together” and therefore need to change the way I am. Not that I was specifically trying to change the way I was, more so how I was attempting to appear that said shit was indeed intact. Let’s not beat around the bush here, nobody’s perfect. We all have our flaws, some more serious than others. One of mine is that I constantly strive for approval, a “good job,” a pat on the back to validate my actions…it’s bull shit and I hate it. There’s nothing wrong with needing validation in life, we need it in several ways each and every day to understand that we are in fact not crazy psycho people with a passion for seeking approval. However, I am here to tell you that doing so for an extended period of time is not healthy. At least for me, it hasn’t proved to be. As of late, I’ve been consistently stressing about my home. The way it was, the way it is, the way it should be. I stress about the mess and the clutter and the cleaning and all my spouse does is listen (while helping, mind you), and remind me that there are other things in life to be more concerned about. Now. I don’t like to admit it, but sometimes he is right… Why do I really care about the few dishes in the sink when the sun is shining and we’re both off early? We could be walking our furballs, embarking on a hike, enjoying our time over an early dinner out. But instead, I sit hesitating every decision wondering if I’m making the right one. And do you know what? By the time I’m done with all of that overthinking, we could have been doing what I loved most in past times. Having fun. Related: Habitual Growth: Looking Back And Moving Forward 10 Quick Ideas for Adulting Fun Fun is something we’ve forgotten about as adults. Fun is something we now forego in lieu of cleaning, cooking, and letting in the chaos. Why don’t we make a pact right here, right now, to start introducing at least one fun thing into our days going forward. You in? Here are a few ideas to get us started: 1. Kayaking – if it’s a beautiful day, check out a local lake to rent a kayak for 2 hours. It’s usually $15 or so and a well spent afternoon alone or with your significant other. 2. Baking – Cold outside? Learn to bake! It’s way more affordable and there’s just something so rewarding about enjoying a freshly baked loaf of bread kneaded by yours truly. 3. Crochet/knit/cross stitch – If you don’t know how to do this, crocheting is the easiest to start up with in my opinion. I used to spend several hours just letting time pass relaxing with some hot chocolate. It’s the most peaceful feeling when
Breaking Through The Pressure Of Society’s Expectations
Sometimes I wonder how I got here. How did my liver decline to the point of needing to reverse it? How am I nearly 33 years old without one single child? Did I do something wrong? Or is this somehow all actually more right than I would like to give it credit for? These are the things I think about as a middle-aged female millennial. These are the overthinking, anxiety-inducing, stress-causing burdens that blur out the everyday tasks that we all blindly walk through…can you relate? Do you feel pressured by society to fit into a certain circle? Do you feel like if you were actually your truest self that it may not sit well with others? Why are we designed this way? And better yet, how do we do better? The Pressures of the Grind and Burnout I stare blankly at my brick walled fireplace wondering why this migraine persists although I am “not stressed.” It’s as if somehow the longer I stare, the more I find answers from within. We talked about this recently on the blog. About how we are all so busy all of the time. About how it’s nearly impossible to find time to “self-care” let alone to let yourself think. Meditation comes in many forms… Today, I fear I’m still facing the burnout. It lasts awhile, you see. Because for some amazing reason the human body is resilient. For some reason, even though every single morning when my alarm goes off for the daily grind, and I promise myself if I’m out earlier than expected that I WILL ABSOLUTELY nap…I don’t. I wait and wait and push and push until the point where the migraine sets in, until the point where all I can do is blankly stare at fireplaces hoping for the next adrenaline rush to kick in. But eventually, those run out…or the Red Bulls do. Why do we do this to ourselves? We’re all guilty of it in some way. Whether you run miles each day or bike in the gym classes or work 3 jobs to make ends meet. It looks like a busy parent at the end of the day low on coffee and high on advil. It’s the teacher frustrated that they can’t do more to share their skills. It looks like the teller at the bank dreading the next workday in this monotonous world they live in. We skip from rock to rock, trudging through life as if we’re on one of those long moving walkways that you see in airports…(and other busy places). It’s a theme, you see. The more busy life becomes, the more we’re unknowingly put on autopilot. Do you really want to live that way? More From HB: Unlearning A Fixed Mindset: Leaving Old Habits Behind The Questions Society Puts On Us My guess is no. No, you do not. At least I’m not going to. That’s one of the reasons for starting this blog. To track, to understand, to learn and evolve and hopefully help a few others along the way. This is a health blog, both mentally and physically. This is a mindfulness blog, a fitness and gardening and foodie blog, a being a freaking human in the world blog. Are you with me? So many times we’re told we have to choose. We have to dedicate all or nothing to one sport, one activity, one hobby, one topic, one job. I call BS. We are beautiful beings made of stardust and water for effs sake. Why in the universe are we limiting ourselves?? What is behind the pressure I feel to be a mom at a certain age? Why do I feel like if I don’t have kids by the time I’m 35 all hell will break loose and my body “won’t bounce back?” Why can’t I just feel comfortable trusting the process that I’m on the path that I need to be so that I can get my mind, body, and spirit in check before bringing another life into this world? If you feel it’s right, it probably is. Go with your gut, it’s your second brain after all. What is it that you’re looking for in life? What is it that you want to do now, 10 years from now, 50 years from now? Think big. Who’s stopping you, really? I don’t know what to title this post yet. It’s still a mystery. That’s why I love writing. It’s basically like life, in tiny little letters on your digital screen. Changing, rearranging, fixing, undoing, adding. There’s always something different that comes to mind to improve upon. So, instead of continuing to redline on the verge of bursting out of your skin, find something you can create. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Let it take over and just grow wild. Who cares what they think, no one knows who “they” is anyway. My two cents is to start focusing on you. Stop being busy for the sake of being busy and let the universe guide you into who you need to be in this lifetime. Who do you think you were meant to be, anyway? Finding the Right Outlet I want to be an emotional writer, a good wife, a pet mom furever and someday a mom of more humans, a kind person, a helpful daughter, a fun soul, a big sister. I want to start embracing myself in ways I haven’t yet done. I’ve come a long way on my journey so far, but I’ve got miles and miles to go to the finish line…and there’s a whole lot of doing I have yet to do. If you’re a creative you may understand what I’m saying. I call it the “squeezy head” syndrome. It was derived from my previous dog, he would literally get so overwhelmed at times that he would squeeze his little forehead in such excitement and anxiety. That’s exactly how I feel sometimes. I get this feeling that my head is just full of ideas