It’s that time again. You know the one where burnout starts to seep in and you feel like you could sleep for days? Tell me I’m not the only one…so, I want to talk about this year so far and a few pieces of growth I’ve gained from it. It’s been one of the most busy, most weird, and most awesome years of my life, and I’m about enter the 34th year of that coming soon. So today is a little less about travel, and a little more about life and the lessons it’s taught me over the last 12 months. Shall we?

When the Universe Sends a Condor

Life is a roller coaster, that’s always a given. It has twists and turns and ups and downs that you never see coming, especially if you go in with your eyes closed. (Which I always did, because roller coasters give me the heeby-jeebys). Somehow, I knew ahead of time that this would be an important year for me…and as silly as it sounds, a condor kind of told me so.

I’m not sure what your thoughts are about “feelings” or “vibes” or “signs,” and what not, but I like to settle somewhere in between the woo woo magic of it all. I love crystals and beautiful rocks and plants in my home and boho decor, but don’t ask me what half of those are actually called or what they are good for. I love sage-ing my home when the time feels right, and the moon and stars when I can really get a good view outside the city. I love being present in nature with no man-made sights in the whole view to see. And I love being my authentic self, which I feel I’ve only truly done in the last few years or so.

3 years ago in this same month, we visited Angels Landing in Zion National Park. It was so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off of it. For years leading up to that, we’d hiked and climbed in some pretty cool places, but this was a video that we kept seeing that gave me a little too many butterflies in my stomach to think I’d ever actually be able to do in real life.

If you’re not familiar with Angels Landing, check out this post to learn more about my experience in the park.

While I was there admiring its intensity, I had the split second chance to look up and see the biggest bird in the states, a California Condor. At that moment I didn’t think about how scared I was, or about the job I currently hated, or about the responsibilities I left waiting for me at home, I just saw “33” on its wing, and in my gut felt that 33 would be the best year of my life to date.

…and you know what? I believe it has been.

From Restlessness to Purpose: How Habitual Balance Was Born

Now, while these birds only have “studbook numbers” (kind of like a persons social security number), on their wings for biologists to track and monitor their lives, it meant something different to me that day. I realized in that trip that I wasn’t living the life I truly wanted, I wasn’t working the job that provided fulfillment, and I wasn’t working towards the physical, mental, and emotional goals that I so deeply yearned for.

So, when I returned, I set out to find my true why and in January of the next year, just a few months later, Habitual Balance was born.

I never thought I’d be a blogger. Or a reseller for that matter. I just wanted to find something that I could do from home where I could simultaneously raise a family with my husband, my best friend. I wanted something that allowed more time for the things that mattered, for visiting family, spending time with my pets that bring me joy, and traveling or being in nature as much as I absolutely could. I wanted something that allowed true freedom while also bringing home the bacon (both realistically and metaphorically).

And now? That main reason is almost here.

How Finding Balance Helped Me Emotionally Prepare for Parenthood

As we near the end of this year, I realize that so much time has passed so quickly, and that soon, it’ll be more than just the hubs and me for the first time in a long time. And as much as I’m excited for the next 13 years together, I feel as though I will be letting go a part of our relationship that will no longer be the same. And change is hard, don’t you think?

But finding HB changed me in the best way possible. It finally gave me that sense of purpose that I’d been searching so long for. It allowed my true self to take form and to find ways to open more doors than I ever thought possible. It allowed me to reach deeper than I ever thought I could to work alone, and work on parts of my soul that needed mending and growing. It allowed that freedom to finally escape and find the way out of the inner bubble I was keeping it in.

This year has held a few monumental memories so far, such as hiking one of the most dangerous trails in the country, to quitting my final day job after so long of flipping through jobs that never brought me joy, to backpacking the Grand Canyon for days where testing strength in mental and physical realms was a must, to finding the courage to overcome true fear in between tears and hike to the tallest peak in the lower 48, and finally to push past the mental block I’ve had for so long of becoming a parent.

Emotionally Preparing for Parenthood (and Everything That Comes With It)

I never thought this day would come, where I felt both free and still scared at the same time, but it’s now approaching us and I feel I’ve truly done all I could to realistically prepare for the next chapter of my life. I’ve conquered things I thought I never could, I’ve reached new levels of self I never knew existed, and I’ve understood more about the world around me than I even thought was possible.

They say you can never prepare for certain things in life, becoming a parent being one of them…but I’m ready, and I’m more excited than ever. I’ve got my ducks in a row, my life sorted out in such a way that I’m ready to move forward. I have had time to think, consider, and rearrange things that made sense. I’ve had space to be intentional about the way I live this life and how I’ll live life while creating another.

Here’s your reminder (and mine), that everything can be planned, prepared, and set in place so that you acquire less anxiety, stress, or chaos in the process. There is always a way forward that shows the better path. There is always a path that allows for less resistance, more calm…more presence.

That is the path I choose as I close this year out reflecting on the obstacles that I’ve overcome. And that is the path I choose to continue on for the foreseeable future. Who’s with me?

Thank You for Joining Me on This Journey of Emotionally Preparing for Parenthood

Thank you for reading and walking beside me through this season of reflection, growth, and change. If you’re also learning how to emotionally prepare for parenthood, I hope my story reminds you that calm, confidence, and balance come with time and you’re never alone in figuring it out.